In a Class By Themselves

I've shared my rants, talked about presumptions about sexuality and separately but in particular sexual preference. Now I will talk about the issue that encompasses most of the inaccurate criticism of how people in the Middle Ages are portrayed in fiction: classism.

Classism is defined as a biased or discriminatory attitude based on distinctions made between social or economic classes. I am specifically referring to a preference or assumption of one class over others. This came up recently when someone told me the entire point of the Society for Creative Anachronism was to create a version of the Middle Ages where "everyone is a noble." What?! Forget it then. I'll drag out my old persona, Var the Insurgent. The same is generally true in novels about the era. I remark on how star-struck and classist most historical novelists are. OUt of a score of novels I would guess that at least eighteen are about royalty or nobility. Yes, yes, mine too.. though at least mine are purely fictional and my aim in the crafting of the book is self-admittedly adolescent. In the vast majority of cases, the celebrities are historical as well as fictionalized and decidedly upper crust.

When someone who is an editor on a blog I contribute to complained that too many novels give their medieval females modern sensibilities, the first words out of my mouth after "So what?" are "That's a classist position." I personally believe that every time has individuals of every sort, including tough, independent , sexually liberated women. People who say "women didn't act like that" are forgetting Eleanor of Aquitaine for a start. More than that they are forgetting the vastly different culture of peasant women. Handfastings were commonplace without benefit of clergy for one simple reason.. priests did not grow on local trees.

Authentic or not, realistic or not, it is the job of the novelist to make whatever characters s/he portrays believable. Any character you have read that you simply cannot accept as fitting an era is probably not so much inauthentic as badly written. If the author had believed in the integrity of the character, s/he would have made you believe. That's what we do.

Writing Real Women

Having just finished reading my first Sister Fidelma I am thinking about what goes into the development of a realistic female character. I suppose it could be argued that every female character in a novel or on the screen is realistic. Women are infinitely individual same as the other guys, but we all know that the vast majority of depictions of women are somehow skewed to images that are cultural more than real. It's inevitable, and I am perfectly aware of my own difficulty with representing female characters.

I don't know if you have heard this but apparently when the first Alien movie was scripted the role of Ripley was written for a man. The wonder of it is that when they recast the character with Sigourney Weaver little or nothing was changed in the script. That is why at least in the original movie the character is so.. well.. real. With Weaver's acting skill the role comes off as genuine, neither butched up nor femmed up. The real person of the character comes out.

A book I read 'way back in the early 70s, The Cook and the Carpenter (author, "The Carpenter") helped me think about how much a novel evinces about what gender is and how much of it is in the cultural soul of the reader. In it the pronouns "he" and "she" etc. were all replaced with "na" (subjective) and "nan" (objective), as in "Na walked into Leslie's kitchen, a bucket of water in each of nan hands." Since the novel came out of a particular genre, I saw every character as female, but I was aware of what hints might make me see a character as one gender or another.

Reading about Sister Fidelma I tried to see if she could have been written as a man with no change in anything but the pronouns. I decided that her femaleness was essential to the story, not because of anything in her character, but in the reaction other characters, both male and female, had towards her. Fidelma, it seems to me, must be discounted to some extent to reveal her independence and strenth. Even portraying her as a man from an underclass or from some other land would not carry the same weight.

I am not really drawing any hard and fast conclusions here. I am musing, that's all. As an author I want to know what is my character and what is my own prejudice. I had a particular challenge with this issue in An Involuntary King as the friend who was "in charge of" Josephine has such a different view of proper female behaviour than do I that it was nearly an impasse to satisfy both of us when I wrote the queen. She is in no way a traditional woman, don't get me wrong, but her use of the term "lady-like" threw me for a long time. It turned out she meant "dignified", thank heavens, but it was still very hard to write Josephine without making her seem stiff and distant. The reactions I have gotten to her show that readers see her as selfish, thoughtless, manipulative, and I wonder what my friend would say about that. Further I wonder whose, if either of ours, influence created that negative interpretation. In the end, I am content with Josephine's character. No one in the book is an idealized character, that is, they all have flaws. Josephine has as one of her less admirable characteristics a tendency to want what she wants and willfilly ignoring its impact on others. She is strong, knows her mind, can fight alongside men, can stand up to threat... but she also maintains an adolescent love of being doted upon. If no one who ever reads the novel likes her, all that will mean is that I drew her well enough to inspire feelings.

Your thoughts?

[Image of Sigourney Weaver above taken from one of the "Alien" films.]

The King Gets Arrrested: An Apochryphal Tale

[Explanatory note: In an early draft of "The Kings Goes to Juliana"written for Ghostletters a line that was supposed to say "It was Juliana with the pitcher ofwine and two cups" was typed as "two cops". This apocryphal talecomes from that typo. The Juliana story line was, thankfully, never meant to make it into the novel.]

The distracted King, in an effort to drive his lustful thoughts outwith alcohol, had called for wine to be brought to his chambers.When at last he heard the soft rap on the door, he went to open it tothe servant who would be carrying a pitcher of wine and one cup. Butwhen the King pulled open the door, he saw instead that it wasJuliana with a pitcher of wine.. and two COPS. He glanced at thecourtesan, then the men, clad in black leather leggings… we wouldcall them pants.. and black leather jackets. Each had a white helmetof a type that Lawrence had never seen before. And the visors seemedto be some sort of mirrored black glass that covered across the facehiding the eyes.

Lawrence looked at Juliana, who was I n a fair state of deshabille.He asked her, "What is the meaning of this, lady?"

At the word "lady" the two o officers exchanged smirks. Then thetaller one turned to the King.
"We need you to step outside. Do you have any weapons we should knowabout?"

The King looked puzzled. "What? Weapons? Of course I do. I havea sword and my dagger." He only then realized the impropriety of theman's question and drew himself up to his full height. "He took astep backwards.

Both cops drew their sidearms and the younger warned theKing, "Listen, man, we don't want no funny stuff."

Lawrence looked at the tiny cannons and guessed their purposealthough it was hard to imagine there could be much damage from thetiny cannonballs the weapons would send forth. He watched one of theofficers edge around him. The man demanded, "Where are the weapons,sir?" He caught site of the King's scabbard and sword and the beltwith the dagger attached hanging from the bedpost and walked over to secure them.

Lawrence wheeled and took a defensive stance. "How dare thee,varlet! Thou mayst not touch the King's sword!" He advanced on theman. He felt a hard wooden stick come around and held hard againsthis throat. The older cop had him in a strong choke hold.
"The King?" the man said menacingly. "You mean you're Elvis? WellElvis is about to leave the building."

Juliana had simply stood and watched it all, her arms across herample but only partially covered bosom.

Lawrence, half conscious was dragged from his rooms and out of thebuilding where the younger cop threw him against some sort of metalhorseless cart. "Put your hands on the car," he demanded.

The King dazed, complied. Juliana followed the men out of thebuilding. The older cop turned to her. "This the guy, ma'am?" Shenodded.

The younger cop, who had pulled Lawrence's arms behind him and cuffedhis wrists, went around to the back of the cart and opened a hatchand put the sword and belts inside, closing it. The older cop wentto a door toward the front and reached into an open window to pullout some small box attached to a lighted panel in the middle of thearea in front of what looked like chairs. He pushed a button on thebox and said into it, "Three Adam nine."

The King's eyes grew large as the tiny box responded, "Three AdamNine, go ahead."

The cop referred to a sheaf of paper and reported, "We are here onTrent between Maison de Soleil and Derby on a 768 frank."

The magic voice responded, "Affirmative. Is the scene secure?"

The cop nodded uselessly but spoke. "Affirmative. We have the RPhere. The subject had a sword and a dagger but we were able toconfiscate them."

The raspy voice asked, "Do you need to run a name?"

Three Adam nine, if that was his name, spoke into the box while theyounger cop took out a similar sheaf of papers and went over to talkto Juliana. "Affirmative. The subject is male, Caucasian, darkblonde and blue with facial hair. He is about 6' 3" . Last nameD'Arnett – david apostrophe adam robert nora edward tom tom. Firstof Lawrence, common spelling. Middle K for King.. No distinguishing marks. We are contacting him about the failureto comply with a constraining order. He did resist us, so we mayhave to bring him in. Can you check for wants and warrants?"

Juliana smirked. The King started to demand the meaning of thisagain but saw her look and shook his head. "Constraining order? Ibe the only man about these parts who can issue any orders."

The younger cop got an "I've heard it all before" look and laughed.
The voice on the magic box said, "D'Arnett Lawrence K. Birth date 1-3-46. One warrant, out of Wessex, a 10-66 for conquering. Non-extraditable. Break."
The cop replied "Go ahead."

Juliana explained, with a saucy tone, "I didst swear out aconstraining order, my lord. For failure to bed me."

Lawrence stood frozen to the spot. "What? How? Failure to bedthee? I dost not understand."
Juliana shot back, "Well thou wrote the laws here.. thou ought toknow what they be, my lord."
The two cops exchanged looks. The older one inquired, "Made thelaws??"

The box squealed and the voice came on quieter. "Uh.. there'ssomething noted in his record. Break."

The King shook his head. "I thinkest not that I approved that one.I dost not administer every little thing."

Just then the magic box squawked and the older cop listenedintensely. "Oh, affirmative. We didn't know. We will release theprisoner. 10-4. " He came over and turned the King around tounlock the cuffs. The King massaged his wrists.
"Sorry, your majesty. We did not realize you have diplomaticimmunity. Sorry, ma'am. We can't arrest him. "

Juliana spoke up defiantly, "But surely e'en the King must obey thelaw!"

The cop shrugged his shoulders. "No, sorry ma'am. You'll have totalk that one over with him. The King is above the law. I wish youhad looked into that before you pulled the department into this.You know he has a wife, don't you?

Juliana pouted and stomped up the stairs into the building. Lawrencefollowed the form as it disappeared through the open doorway. Helooked at the older cop.

"Listen, your majesty, it's none of my business, but we have somehistory with that one. You might want to take advantage of afreebie, if you know what I mean. She's pretty tenacious."
The King said, "Tellest me about it." He gave the men an irritatedlook and followed the woman into the building. The officers lookedat each other, shrugged, and got into their car and drove away. Theyounger cop took the talking box and said into it, "Three Adam nine..we're clear. The 768. Will be out on paper. Lots and lots of paper."

"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do..."

Visit Lovely Typos

As the duly-elected Queen of the Island Kingdom of Typos, I hereby welcome you all, my faithful subjects.

It cannot have bypassed your attention that there are many literate and talented people, even authors, who seem to have a unique way of spelling certain everyday words. Many call them sloppy or inattentive to detail. This is not fair!

On the contrary, this habit or art, as we prefer to describe it, is a proud tradition of the peoples of our esteemed kingdom. To criticize our national pastime is no less a social faux pas than to belittle the culture of any other nation, such as Poland, China, Iran, or the United States of America. It is every bit as crass to crack "Typos jokes" as "Polish jokes".

I beg you, people of the world, to raise the standard of tolerance and accept our unique interpretation of written language.

Thnk yu for toru kind attenrion!

Nana Hawthornia
Queen of the Island Kingdom of Typos