[NEWS] Happy Bird-day!!!

Today is my bird-day.  no, not my birthday...  my BIRD DAY.  What is a bird-day?  Why, silly goose, it's your half birthday.  Cheesh.  Doesn't everyone know that?

Well, a few people do.  All the kids in my neighborhood know precisely what a bird-day is.  I expect, and this fills my heart with song, their children will know about it and celebrate theirs, and their kids will too.  Now that's the kind of anonymous immortality I can go for.

The Origin of Bird-day

My husband Jim and I have celebrated half birthdays for thirty plus years.  We like to mark the day, whatever day it is, so it was natural to celebrate half birthdays.  Since Jim is rather gaga over penguins, we christened the day "bird-day".  Much to my excitement one year I found a birthday card that had three rows of different birds on the front and "Happy Bird Day!" inside.

If you want to make me clap my hands and smile, and I am ever so darling when i do that, you will also take up the observance of each person's bird-day.  I know a lot of adults who don't even celebrate their birthdays.. the best thign for them would be to start celebrating both, don't you agree?

What is our bird-day tradition?  We pick the closest weekend and the bird-day boy or girl, or man or woman in our case, gets to call all the shots all weekend... whether we go out to eat, whether we go for a drive, whether and when we take a nap, that sort of thing.

The most miraculous phenomenon of bird-day is that on yours, whatever chronic illness you have goes away for the day!  I'm diabetic.. but I get to eat candy on my bird-day. 

Oh c'mon.  It's only one day a year.  Or two.

For the record today I am 60-1/2 years old.

[TOPIC] Common Myths of Medieval Historical Fiction: Herbal Medicine

A leech called Panacea

     Authors of historical fiction set in the Middle Ages appear to have a penchant for certain romantic notions about life during that period. One of these is the efficacy of so-called natural medicine. Whether it is Brother Cadfael's herbarium or Lucy Wilton 's apothecary shop, the myth is not so much that such practices existed or were common but that they worked.
     Whatever palliative effect herbal medicaments may have had, there is a great deal to say about medicine during the Middle Ages that does not commend it. Authors appear to prefer to represent it romantically, mirroring the modern notion that somehow science is oppressive and that we have lost something by assigning older treatments to the past. The fact is that until the 1900s life expectancy was shorter than now. If you factor out child mortality, people generally did not live more than 50-60 years which only sounds old if you are under 25! Frankly, factoring out child mortality when discussing medieval medicine is absurd as children primarily died of illnesses that at least in the west no longer kills them. If things were better "back then" in terms of health, this would not be the case.
     "Science" has been reinterpreted over the past few decades since the very romantic 1960s as being an oppressive and heartless practice of capitalist patriarchy or some such bugaboo. All the word means is "knowledge". That is the key to understanding how it operates. Science calls for verification of claims, in medicine or in any other area of knowledge. A Lucy Wilton is shown learning herb craft from a teacher of lore passed on over the centuries. It can be enlightening to remember that lore included a lot more than just drink a tisane to rid oneself of a headache. It included the belief in the body's humors and how placing a leech on one's skin to suck out blood was a cure for any variety of ailments. In some cultures the accepted way to relief headaches was to drill a whole in the skull. The Church's lore may have been different from Pagan societies' but which herb was related to what saint basically mirrored it. Often an affliction was considered "God's will" and not treated. These issues were all concerned with belief, not science. When the two coincide, that's all it is, coincidence.
     In medieval era historical fiction you run into a lot of situations where a character runs into the herbalist's or apothecary's to get a nostrum much as we would run to the drug store for a bottle of cough syrup. Perhaps this is why the authors write it that way. It's familiar. Perhaps it is also more fun. One of Ellis Peters' Cadfael books is about gardening and herblore. And it's colorful, intriguing and romantic. It is, in short, prettier, much prettier than amputations, gangrene and leeches and considerably prettier than a dead body.

Originally posted 11/23/08.

See these excellent videos on medieval medicine from the Okinawa barony of the Society for Creatibe Anachronism, coutntesy Frian Jak.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D577eQBNzUk&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFpjVrYE7zM&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRAUHvqZCxM&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0zcbNF4wWA&feature=relmfu

[TOPIC] Climate As a Force in History: The Medieval Warm Period

Oringinally posted 10/13/08.

No one would question that climate impacts our lives in both trivial and devastating ways. But did you know that many of the dramatic themes in historywere caused by an event called the Medieval Warm Period (MWP)?

Much like most scientific or historical theories there is some controversy, climate may be the answer to a number of question about movements and events between the ninth and thirteenth centuries. Why did the Danes and Norse suddenly abandon their societies and lands to raid throughout the British Isles and into Normandy? Why did they settle in Greenland and Labrador in North America but leave these settlements never to return? Why did the Black Death happen when it did?

Many scientists and historians believe that two periods of climatic change explain all. The MWP brought warmer weather and as a result better and longer growing periods for agriculture. As food became less scarce, more children survived to adulthood. In places like Scandinavia more children meant more sons to inherit land. When land became scarcer than food, the landless had to go looking for new places to settle. Thus the Danes raided and then settled parts of the northern and eastern coasts of Britain, and the Norse made their way to Iceland and west to Greenland and Labrador.

One indication of the more favorable climate is the fact that during the MWP wine grapes were grown as far north as southern England!

When the sea was relatively free of icebergs, the Norse who settled the eastern shores of Greenland were able to send ships back and forth from Greenland to Norway and Iceland. While children are still taught that "Columbus discovered America" the fact is that the Norse settlements in what would become the Maritime Provinces of Canada were established and shipssailed back and forth between Labroador and Greenland.

So why did the Norse not make a permanent mark on North America? And why did Greenlanders completely abndon the hometeads they built and maintained in the ingospitable land? The weather grew colder and the iceberhs returned, making the trips between the new world and Norway and Iceland too perilous to continue. They could not subsist without trade with the lands of their heritage, nor did they wish to disconnect from their homelands. So they up and left.

After the centuries of a better life in the North Atlantic, the temperatures suddenly dipped. What had been plenty became over-population and scarcity. The famines of the early fourteenth century made the coming of the Black Death devastating. Whole billages were left unpopulated. Then the lack of cheap labor meant that social conditions for the poorer folks had to improve. What is often called The Little Ice Age brought a change in the social fabric of Europe.

But that's a tale for another blog entry.

[Topic] Why You Should Buy Books In this Economy

Originally post 10/7/08.

A friend of mine had comforting words when I expressed my concern about having come out with my first novel just as the world economy is taking a nose dive. She said, "A book is solace in times of need."

She's right. If the electricity is off, you can't watch TV but you can still ruin your eyes by reading by candlelight.

Plus, there are lots of practical uses for books in times of scarcity. Here are just a few.

• Home defense.. best with a really fat book like my novel.
• Insulation... four to five inches of densely packed paper, that is, a book, floor to ceiling on every wall beats the best commercial insulation around.
• Books as fuel... to start fires or just to feed them. You could cook a whole meal on my novel.
• Hunting...a book makes a great missile.
• Padding clothes... again, paper makes great isulation.
• Trade... with people who didn't think of how bored they would get with nothing to do.
• Weights... for holding down the edges of the tarp you now live under.
• Food extender... adds no calories but lots of bulk, add to ground meat, bread, mashed potatoes.
• Home repairs... use books as shingles.
• Bedding... crumple pages and put inside dubet cover.
• Entertainment... your kids will love all the unbelievable stories and pictures of what life was like before the Crash.
• Defense... buiild fortress out of piled books.. not recommended against flamethrowers.
• Pest control... wait until the cockroach wanders onto and open book.. then shut it fast.
• Furniture... it just takes a third of an encyclopedia to make a stool!
• ... and the unpleasant but obvious, toilet paper.

[TOPIC] Historical "Truth"

Historical "Truth"

One warning: early newspapers were not exactly unbiased in their reporting. This is true of other primary sources as well. Memoirs and letters are particularly suspect. Writers have always slanted the accounts they've left behind to make themselves look better and to reflect their own opinions-or those of the people paying them to record events for posterity. Sir Thomas More's History of King Richard III (1513) is a case in point. More might have lost his head much sooner if he hadn't written what Henry VIII wanted to read about his predecessors.

It is unwise to leap to any firm conclusions based on records left by our ancestors. Let's say you've found a book that reprints a series of laws dealing with criminal offenses, passed in the time and place you're writing about. They were in effect, but did everyone obey them? Were they enforced? Did people living at the time, concerned with their own survival, away from the city or the court, even know they existed, let alone what they said? English law in the sixteenth century specified hanging as the punishment for a variety of crimes, including the theft of anything valued at a shilling or more. In case after case, this sentence was not carried out. Felons were branded instead, or acquitted in spite of overwhelming evidence of guilt. Then, as now, nothing is cut and dried. Historical "truths" can be interpreted in a variety of ways. You will need to use common sense to apply the realities of everyday life in a bygone age to the "facts" of history.

From Kathy Lynn Emerson. How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries: The Art and Adventure of Sleuthing Through the Past (pp. 44-45). Kindle Edition.

[TOPIC] Thinking About Sex

There is no recession when it comes to sex in historical novels. Even if you don't admit to any interest in bursting bodice romance novels, you will still find an ample supply of more or less graphic sex scenes in even medieval era novels.

Some readers and authors squirm at this fact. They say things like "The Church frowned on such behavior!" or "Women then would never have behaved like that" and cite tales of couples using a sheet with a hole in it so a man could impregnate his wife without actually seeing her naughty bits.

I frankly reject these notions of premature Puritanism in the Middle Ages. People are people, and sex is sex. If we had homes for unwed teen mothers in the 1950s in spite of much greater strictures against premarital sex than we have today, then why believe young people in the 1250s were any different?

It is important to remember that much of what we know about the Middle Ages was written by monks. That is not a credible source for interpretations of female behavior in general, no less sexuality. Further, if the Church's strictures about sexuality were so formidable, why did they not take within their own society? In a time when the Church was a career path as much as or more than a spiritual calling, numerous instances of clerical mating abound.

I say don't assume anything about the era that does not jibe with human nature. Healthy people had sex, lots of it, and enjoyed it very much, and I for one intend to lace my historical novels with healthy people.

Originally published a whole bunch of time ago.  September 3, 2008 to be precise.

The Royal Wedding

In grateful acknowledgement of president obama's support of marriage equality, we present a historical wedding.

"How did you talk that priest into doing this, Nedikins?"

King Edward, the second of that name, grinned impishly. "He's not a real priest, my Pierrot."

Piers Gaveston sighed. "And they call _me_ the Lord of Misrule."

He let Edward take his elbow and guide him down the chapel's central aisle to the altar. There the two of them knelt before the ersatz priest.

"But your Majesty, I don't know the marriage ritual..." the confused looking impost er whined.

Edward frowned. "Never mind. Just say , 'I now pronounce you man and wife.   You may kiss the bride.'"

"Nedikins!" Piers protested. "Which of us are you calling the bride?"

Edward frowned again. "Oh don't be tiresome. What difference does it make?"

"I suppose since we are a cou0ple of queens, we can both be the bride." Piers smirked. "I shouldn't think Isabella will be too pleased."

Sulking, Edward pleaded, "I asked you not to mention her. Why can't you do as I ask?"

The "priest" cut in, "You may kiss the bride."

Piers Gaveston reached out and touch Edward's cheek with his fingers. "I do love you, Nedikins." He leaned in and put his lips on Edward's.

The king melted. He kissed back, sweetly and romantically.

"My Pierrot," he sighed.

Piers smiled. "Now what was that about my doing something you ask?" He glanced down at the king's codpiece suggestively.

"Oh, my Parrot..."

"My Nedikins. I couldn't help but lose my head over you."

They let the next kiss linger as the fake priest took the coins Edward held out to him and left the chapel.

Vive l'amour!

[Originally published in gay flash fiction, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gayflashfic/]

Anne Shirley Ain't Got Nothin' on Me

Anne Shirley's impassioned pleas to be called Cordelia and her devotion to her "bosom friend" came back to me this past week as I reread the early letters my friend Laura and I wrote on behalf of our characters who were fated to become the main characters of my novel, An Involuntary King. I have been posting the few that still exist from the period of 1964 to 1967 on my new blog of the same name. True, I was 12 and Laura was 11 when we started this project together, but hoo doggy, we almost put Anne to shame! If the novels about Anne were almost impossible for me to read, these letters... well, see for yourself.


I find myself hoping no child psychologist ever comes across them... I would rather not know what they reveal. And the stories to come are no better.

It seems like my pre-adolescent mania was for tragic near death scenes, a king prone to comatose periods, rash acts like murdering the man who bedded one's wife by poisoning him at the feasting table, florid outpourings of love and regret. I have only one of the letters Laura wrote but in it she presents only a slightly less manic self-revelation. References in our letters to ones that are missing show her having the queen so crushed by the death of her infant conceived in rape that she takes a gallant young knight as a lover.. he whom the king would later poison and then exile himself for a year as punishment. he drawing above is from the same time as the stories and shows poor old Lawrence bed ridden as usual, facing and giving command of his armies to Elerde, the man who had put him in that bed of pain by bashing him in the head in a duel. It's complicated... there is a woman involved of course.

And I am not even going to mention the sorceress who enchanted the king and is found with him, dead.

More recently Laura and I reconnected. We have had occasion to talk about these letters and stories. She revealed to me that she was always longing for the sort of love found in the sort of songs sung by the trouveres. My situation was a little more complicated, or so I believe, as I had a preference for being the protective, strong hero rather than the dreamy heroine. Then why was Lawrence always injured or sick?? Don't ask me. I can't know.

Let me conclude by assuring you that I am a much more stable, mature and able writer now... no, really.

"HMS Victory" by Nicol Haarrity

"Books I'vve Read, #1" Nicol Harrity

See if you can identify them.
The Confession of Piers Gavveston
The Traitor's Wife
Time and Chance
Queen of Swords
Lords of Vaumartin
Lords of the North
Dancing in Chequered Shade (unreleased)

"Le Beau Soleil" by Nicol Harrity

acrylic yarns

The Count Who Ran Away

Imaginary portrait of Raymond IV of Toulouse, by Merry-

Joseph Blondel, 1840s, Salles de Croisades, Versailles.

          Raymond IV of Toulouse, also called Raymond Saint-Gilles, was one of the first to respond to the call of Pope Urban to travel to Jerusalem to recapture the Holy Land from Muslim control. He was born in 1041 or 1042 and was Count of Toulouse, Duke of Narbonne, and Margrave of Provence. He was the oldest and richest of the leaders of the First Crusade, for which he left in 1096.
          When rumors spread that the city of Antioch was deserted by the Seljuk Turks Raymond took his own army to occupy it. This infuriated Bohemond of Taranto, the official leader of the crusade who had wanted it for himself. It turned out the Turks still occupied the city, however, and only after a long siege could the Crusaders take it. It was 1098, and soon thereafter Raymond became ill and was unable to fight when the Turks laid their own siege to the city. It was during this period that a monk named Bartholomew had a vision of the lance that had been used by a Roman soldier to pierce Jesus Christ's side while on the cross, which he said was buried deep under the floor of a church in Antioch. When the floor was lifted and the dirt under it excavated, there was indeed an old lance buried there, which heartened the Crusaders when the siege was most severe. Their morale was raised by the miracle, and they were able to route the Turks.
          The remainder of the First Crusade was characterized by rivalries between Raymond and Bohemond and other leaders. Bohemond seized and held onto Antioch, while Raymond refused the crown of the Kingdom of Jerusalem when it was offered to him. He took advantage of the hostility against Bohemond that the latter caused by breaking his agreements with the Byzantine Emperor Alexius, Raymond allied himself with Constantinople.
          That was where the Crusade of 1101 found him. While the Christians had control of much of the Holy Land, including Jerusalem, they were beset by Muslim forces, and called upon the new Pope Paschal to send more armies to defend their sovereignty. A variety of forces arrived in Byzantium, and Alexius made Raymond their leader. The single largest group was made up of non-combatants from Lombardy. They were devoted to Bohemond, who had in the meantime been captured and imprisoned in the northeast of Turkey. The Lombards demanded that Raymond free Bohemond, which was about the last thing he wanted to do. He was forced to comply because the combined forces would not have been able to defend themselves on their trek to the Holy Land if the sizable force of Lombards left them. By the time the crusaders arrived at the Plain of Merzifon, they were thirsty and starving. They encountered the Turks there. The battle went so badly for the crusaders that Raymond deserted them, followed by the other leaders of the crusade, with the result that the Lombards and most of the other soldiers left behind were massacred by the Turks. Raymond returned to Constantinople where he discovered he had lost the friendship of the Emperor for failing to fulfill promises he made.
          He sailed to Antioch in 1102 where he was promptly arrested for deserting the pilgrims at Merzifon and failing to rescue Antioch's ruler, Bohemond by Tancred, who was temporarily in charge. He was released when he promised no further aggression against Antioch, but with Alexius's renewed help he attempted just that. He died in 1105 before his coveted Tripoli was captured.

Cartoon: Alexius to Raymond, "I thought we understood

each other.  Toulouse is your name, not yoru quest."

Raymon of Toulouse is a character in nan hawthorne's Beloved Pilgrim which tells the story of the doomerd Crusade of 1101.  See book on left.

Making light of the Dark Ages: Identifying Harold's Body

Edith Swanneck visits the Hastings battlefield to identify the dismembered body of Harold Godwinson.

"That bit looks like Harold.  Oh, and

that one one over there.  Which one?

Oh yes, that one is Harold too.  That? 

I don't know who that is."

Hood-winked: A Quartet of Robins and Marians

I am re-posting this article which has seen the light of day at least twice before because one of the novels mentioned is the sequel to novel I am reading now.. and being knocked off my feet by, Jennifer Roberson's Lady Of The Forest. More about that in the next post. In the meantime, I invite you to be Hood-winked again.

Originally posted 10/22/08.
Being as the 1950s British television series The Adventures of Robin Hood was what brought me to adore medieval England, it has been of some interest to me that books I have been reading of late have Robin Hood as a character. What's more, each of the portrayals has been so unique, I just can't prevent myself from writing about this. I know there are many more examples, and I would love to hear about them in the comments to this post. These four are just my latest encounters of a divres kind.

Lady of Sherwood
Jennifer Roberson
Kensington (August 1, 2000)

The sequel to Lady Of The Forest has Marian living tenuously in her father's manor just as Robin comes home from the Crusade just after King Richard's death. This is the standard Robin Hood, portrayed as a historical character but sensitively and appealingly. To put it another way, he's a real guy and a nice one at that. He fights the bad guys and wins and his Merry Men are there as loyal friends of both him and Marian. Lots of romance.

Shield of Three Lions: A Novel
Pamela Kaufman
Three Rivers Press (July 23, 2002)

Robin and Marian are minor characters in this one, but would they leave an impression? Sure would! (Sorry..) The heroine/hero/heroine comes back to England after spending, um, time with King Richard in the Holy Land, and on her journey is waylaid by Merry Men north of Nottingham. First she meets Marian, installed in a sweet little cottage, quite the airhead, telling her about how Robin and she are betrothed but that he believes in abstinence before marriage. Of course, when the heroine meets the guy later that evening he puts moves on her, revealing himself as quite the cad, a womanizer taking advantage of superstardom. Not a nice guy, unless you like that sort of thing. I have to admit to having my sensibilities offended -- not all that seriously -- with this rather casual portrayal of my hero.

Pride of Kings
Judith Tarr
Roc Trade (September 5, 2001)

This is one of Judith Tarr's "say what?" novels, fantasies where cultural expectations -- at least mine -- get mind-boggled. I had read her earlier book, Rite of Conquest, in which she portrays William of Normandy as the, ahem, savior of Britain, and Harold Godwinson, a personal favorite of mine, as the feckless (her word) champion of keeping England in chains... say what?! In this one, King John is the Good Guy.. again say what?! I had thought the one commonplace in historical fiction was that John was always a jerk. I have to say though that Tarr's fantasies are quite well done, engaging, and in this one she did a wonderful job with John, making him the Good Guy but not a nice guy.

But I digress... Robin Hood in this one is a three foot tall pointy toothed leader of the wild magic that wants to destroy the worlds -- all of them.. no mention of Marian, fortunately for her I think. He is clearly a nasty S.O.B. and his Men not only not Merry but not even MEN.. humans, that is.

The White Cutter
Davidson Pownall
Random House Value Publishing (February 22, 1992)

Now this book gives us the most peculiar Hood of all.. not Robin, as he is only called "Hood" here and there is no sign of Marian whatsoever. The story itself is about a young boy who is a mason, and a Freemason, and how he is manipulated as part of an experiment by the four "true rulers" of England.. interestingly, Tarr's books also have a Four Guardians. The comparison ends there, as here they are King Henry III, Simon de Montfort, the Bishop of Lincoln Robert Grossteste, and Henry de Rains, the King's mason. The writing is lovely, with lots of architectural terms used in a literary way.

But as soon as Hedrick enters Sherwood, it gets weird -- and I don't mean "wyrd". At first I thought what I was going to say in this article was that Hood turns out to be some kind of guru who has his rather socialist society doing a Cult of Personality gig. For instance, he is conducting social engineering experiements with how many wives is the correct number. Then you find something out.. spoiler here, so read on at your risk.. that Sherwood is the king's secret second kingdom, starting with Henry II, and his character changes with the character of each King. Henry III is part of this cabal of social experimenters trying to seed a new world order of architecture that will lead to peace and joy and other good stuff. The experiments are reminiscent of Nazi concentration camps.. and Hood is the cold-blooded Wizard of Oz. Pay no attention to the King behind the curtain.

From a legend made flesh, to something out of Playboy, to a beastlike demon, and finally to a sort of medieval Dr. Memgele, you gotta admit the guy sure tickles authors' imaginations. As I tried to pull every live body in my neighborhood to play Robin Hood with me - I was Robin, of course - I certainly never suspected my lifelong hero would be put through this many changes!

AnotherHistorical Shaggy Dog Story

I pride myself on my ability to write these up and provide a cartoon illustration. It is a wise thing to take pride in simple pleasures, n'est-ce pas?

Pompeia, the wife of the great Roman general Julius Caesar, was well known for her beauty and her matronly virtues. But did you know she was also known far and wide for a remarkable berry she owned that had been passed from generation to generation in her family and was said to have been given to her distant ancestor by Ceres, the Earth Goddess, herself?

Yes, it was an astonishing piece of fruit, a huge, purple, shiny blackberry that pulsated with light. People came from all parts of the Roman Empire just to see Pompeia's berry. To accommodate the crowds, Julius Caesar caused a marble shrine to be built with open sides so that all who came could regard the berry where it sat on its gold and marble pedestal.

Every day people would come to gaze at the magnificent blackberry, and they would shout,

"How beautiful it is!"

"How large it is!"

"Blessings on the honorable house of she who owns the admirable berry!"

One night, long after viewing hours, the priestess who looked after the berry heard a sound of sandals on the marble floor of the shrine that housed Pompeia's berry.

"That is odd,' she thought. "Everyone knows that visiting hours are day time only." She went to accost the trespasser and tell him to come back during the day.

She found a man standing by the berry's pedestal. Ye gods! He had the berry right in the palm of his hand!

The priestess called to the man, "Sir, put down that berry! You may not touch it. Come back during viewing hours. Then you may look at Pompeia's berry all you wish and join in on the clamor of praise for the sacred fruit.."

The man turned to her with an evil gleam in his eye. "Foolish woman! I came to seize her berry, and not to praise it!"

And he put it in a sack and ran away.

---

Making Light of the Dark Ages: Buried Saxon Treasure

Another Nan Hawthorne cartoon.

And You Thought Braveheart Was Bad...

     I am one of many historical novelists who rolled her eyes and cried "Welladay!" watching the movie Bravehearrt with its wildly fanciful and downright irritating historical inaccuracies. No, William Wallace was not the father of Edward III... I know someone who was told that her recounting of the execution on Blacklow Hill of Piers Gaveston could not be accurate because everyone knows Patrick McGoohan threw him out a window. Read the Randall Wallace novel... it's just as bad, and he admits it's all fantasy and that he thinks it should have happened the way he said, not how it really did. Tell Gaveston that! Heck, tell Isabella that! "Mais non, I will not couchez avec this smelly blue Scottish man!"
     But... given the choice I would rather the kids I know got their history from movies like Braveheart... than from video games.
   That's one thing I learned during my little "Battle of Hastings" party with the neighborhood boys that I wrote about in yesterday's blog. Throughout the video two or three of them kept telling me about scenes in games the movie reminded them of. One boy's brother's name is Jason. I told him about Jason and the Argonauts and how Jason was a famous hero. He replied, "Jason wasn't always a hero because sometimes he fights other good guys." In the game. Another boy proceeded to describe all the weapons a medieval soldier would carry into battle, axes and swords and crossbows and morning stars.. all at the same time. I noticed in the game Stronghold that in the Dark Ages version the otherwise acceptable stronghold has a neat line of latrines and numerous eel pond.
     I never have been an old fuddy duddy when it comes to games. I had an old Sega Genesis once and only stopped playing with it because my eyesight and it were no longer compatible. But I worry about kids' understanding of the history of the peoples of our planet. I can imagine how hard it is to teach history these days.. constantly having to correct peculiar notions of what Beowulf was about or how much of the sort of goofy magic was in a legendary hero's story.
     I don't know what I am proposing.. nothing really. The average parent is not going to be able to sit down with their kids and calmly explain that knights did or did not do this or that. So just be aware as you are writing your novels that you probably will never be able to compete for the 15 year old mind.
     However, if any game companies are interested, my novel of Anglo Saxon England is definitely available for licensing.. Ah, "An Involuntary King: The Game". Splendid.

Succession, Or A Daisy Chain of Engllish Monarchy in Novels

If you read enough historical fiction, and so much of it is about England, you begin to run across the same historical figures over and over. While reading Morgan Llewellyn's Pride of Lions I ran across both Thorfin and Macbeth, who were one and the same person in Dorothy Dunnett's King Hereafter, so I found myself awake at 3:30 this morning following a path from book to book.

I decided to list the royal succession through books I have read. Of course, one could do this by reading Jean Plaidy, whose novels stretch from (primordial) soup to (Hanoverian)nuts. But what you see below are just books I have e read. After all, this blog is called "That's All She Read" not "That's All There Is To Read"!

The Last Kingdom (etc.) by Bernard Cornwell has a protagonist who takes credit for all of those triumphs associated with Alfred the Great. I love the series, but can't forgive the author for the hatchet job on my heroine, Aethelflaed. I know the series will stretch to Uhtred's old age so chances are the Edward the Elder and perhaps even Athelstan may be featured.

I have to skip a few kings to get to the next book.

Avalon, by Anya Seton is a far ranging novel takes place during the the reigns of Edgar, his son Edward the Martyr and his other son Ethelraed, later to be called the Unready, meaning ill counseled.

Breath of Kings, by Gene Farrington covers three dynasties, starting with Ethelraed the Unready, then going on to the short reigh of Edmund Ironsides, Ethelraed's illegitimate son, and the takeover by Danes, starting by some accounts with Sveyn Forkbeard, but definitely covering the great King Canute. Canute's son by a Saxon woman to whom he was handfasted before marrying Emma was Harold Harefoot, who grabbed the throne briefly Canute had set her aside to marry Ethelraed's Norman widow Emma and Harold was succeeded by their son Hardicanute, whose death by choking on food is illlustrated in Breath of Kings. The main character of the novel, Edward the Confessor, came to the throne of his father, Ethelraed the Unready, when Canute ran out of sons.

An interlude here to acknowledge good old Macbeth.

As I mention, in Pride of Lions, the novel of Brian Boru's sons Morgan Llewellyn has a sojourn to the Scotland of Malcolm, the grandfather of the ill fated Duncan of Shakespeare's "Scottish play". There we meet the young rambunctious Duncan and Thorfin, both grandsons of the king. Mention is made of a granddaughter of the man Malcolm assassinated in order to be king, this woman married to a man named Macbeth. Dorothy Dunnett contends Thorfin was just the Norse name of Macbeth, whose name means "son of llife", and her novel, King Hereafter is about this man. I can also mention that Breath of Kings has Emma visiting Scotland and meeting Macbeth.

Pride of Lions brings in Earl Godwin of Wessex, who is prominent in Breath of Kings as well. His son Harold Godwinson shows up in the latter and in Judith Tarr's historical fantasy, Rite of Conquest. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The King's Shadow by Elizabeth Alder is an extremely affectionate novel of Harold Godwinson and a mute Welsh boy. The novel of Harold's accession to Edward the Comfessor's throne takes him to his death at the Battle of Hastings and had this Harold-lover distraught for days.

Rite of Conquest by Judith Tarr has William of Normandy the reincarnated King Arthur and Harold Godwinson the slavish defender of Christianity's effort to rob Britain of its holiness. That's all I'm gonna say about that.. except that it's a wonderful novel if you can overlook its theme -- and even I could it's that good.

Robin and the King by Parke Godwin takes over with William the Conqueror, and also gets us started with his successor William Rufus.

King of the Wood by Valerie Anand has the same take on William Rufus, that he was homosexual. It also brings in Henry, who would be "the First", the youngest son of William the Conqueror.

With The Lion of Justice this Jean Plaidy thrown in here to cover Henmry I, we go on to a spate of Sharon Kay Penmans.

When Christ and His Saints Slept takes us from the death of Henry I and the war between his nephew, Stephen of Blois, and his daughter, Maud. The first peek at Henry Fitzempress is in this novel.

That Henry, better known as Henry II, shows up again in Penman's Time and Chance, largely about Henry's wild marriage to Eleanor of Aquitaine.

The third novel in this series is The Devil's Brood about their fractious and colorful children.

Here we have brought you to Richard the Lionhearted.. and a good place to break. We will return to this daisy chain in a future blog post.

Now don't freak out. I know there are lots more than the ones I have listed so far, and you should feel free to mention them in Comments below. I chose one comprehensive example for each period.

We Solve All Historical Mysteries - Every Last One of Them!

This is indeed an oldie, having been originally posted on the blog Booking history a couple years ago. Hope you agree it's a goodie. To see how old it is, just check the dates on the leftover comments.

With James Patterson's ostensibly nonfiction book, The Murder of King Tut: The Plot to Kill the Boy King - A Nonfiction Thriller, which is full of rather fanciful "facts" and as a result is climbing in sales rank on Amazon.com, Brandy Purdy and I decided it was time to put all those historical mysteries to rest. We know all the answers. I bet you can supply a few yourself!

Who killed the little princes in the Tower?

That wasn't a hunchback after all, but Richard III's conjoined midget twin. During one of Richard's many opium induced trances, the midget killed the princes. Richard awoke with no memory of the event.

What happened to King John's treasure?

No, it was not lost in the Wash. It has been in a numbered Swiss bank account for nearly 800 years. It is on hold for when King Arthur finally gets around to waking up to save Britain.

Who was Jack the Ripper?

No, not the Prince of Wales. In fact, not even a man. Lizzie Borden, in Europe for her Grand Tour, killed the prostitutes when they rebuffed her lesbian advances with scornful accusations of "Unnatural!" She killed her parents because they found out.

Who killed the Lindbergh baby?

Nobody. He was kidnapped by his real mother and raised by her in isolation on an island in the South Pacific. Her name was Amelia Earhart.

Who was the woman who claimed to be the daughter of Czar Nicholas, Anastasia?

Just look at her! It's Ingrid Bergman. Who else? Sheesh.

Was Richard the Lionhearted gay?

No, it was just an army recruiting campaign that was wildly successful.

Was Marie Antoinette guilty in the notorious affair of the stolen diamond necklace?

Though Marie Antoinette was accused of stealing it and a trial full of shady characters followed, now the truth can be told: Wanting to impress her Swedish lover, Count Fersen, Marie Antoinette wore the necklace one time to an intimate little dinner, but the "lady" delegated to return it stole and dismantled it instead. Leaving Marie Antoinette in a predicament. She could not reveal the truth without revealing her liaison with Fersen.

What happened to the Lost Colony of Roanoke?

An Indian shaman turned all the settlers into deer then gave a huge feast where the venison was served with a rich delicious bordellaise sauce.

What lies within the Bermuda Triangle?

A squared hyponews which is equal to a squared bee square.

Was Elizabeth I really a man?

Yes. Wanting to prove that women were just as good as men, proud Anne Boleyn concealed the fact that her "daughter" was actually a son and brought him up as a female, bribing trusted like minded nursery attendants to keep the secret. Even though this duplicity cost Anne her life when she failed to provide Henry with a male heir, she was vindicated by her "daughter's" greatness in the end. Amy Robsart was silenced because she knew her husband, Sir Robert Dudley, was having a homosexual affair with the "Queen".

Why were the Knights Templar destroyed?

It was a banking scandal. They had invested in sub prime mortgages and derivatives and were bankrupting the country. The Frecnh Royal Reserve decided they were too big to fail, so King Philip took all the money and nationalized the Templars, which just means he did not have to share the money, and the CEOs of all the Templar banks were burned at the stake. They were tied to the stake face forward, thus the origin of the expression "stakeholders".

Did the Donner Party revert to cannibalism when they were lost in the snow?

When their pastor died in the Sierra Nevada, they found among his belongings a book called To Serve Man. They had thought it was a work about charitable acts. it turned out to be a cookbook.

What happened to Atlantis?

Thanks to the popularity of hundreds of fast food restaurants the population became immensely fat. This sank the fabled city but enterprising entrepreneurs managed to escape and centuries later founded MacDonald's. The golden arches are actually a replica of the golden arches that topped Atlantis' finest eatery, the last thing it's proprietor saw as it sank beneath the sea.

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But, you cry, some of these things happened at quite different times and involve people who could not have been there at the same time! We reply, what's that got to do with book sales?

About your historical sleuths

Brandy Purdy is the author of The Confession of Piers Gaveston, and of The Boleyn Wife which is due to be released by Kensington Books in January 2010.

Nan Hawthorne is the author of An Involuntary King: A Tale of Anglo Saxon England and Alehouse Tales, due out Winter 2010..

Can you prove that it did not happen? You can? Well, so what?

Stuck For a Solution To a Plot Dilemma?

For Creative Writers!

Please cross post wherever you want.

This is just for fun, OK?  Not all that serious, though you may find inspiration here.

Join here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/plot_solutions

The way it works is that writers who are stuck for where a plot should go pose a question, bare bones information, one sentence only.

Then anyone else on the group may supply the solution, funny, serious, whatever.

For example, someone might post this plot question: "How will Sully come to realize that he is in love with Cleve?"  That's all.. no more information, just the barebones of the situation.  Since the group will be 100% moderated anything longer or more involved will be deleted.

Then everyone else can offer a solution.  Any solution.  So for instance, these possibilities:

"Sully drives away then starts to feel just how much he will miss Cleve."
"Sully sees a photo of himself and Cleve and it makes him cry."
"Sully finds himself gazing at Cleve without realizing it."
"Sully realizes how much Cleve reminds him of his favorite teddy bear he had as a child."

The answers might make you laugh, they might make you shake your head, or they might just offer the key to your writing dilemma.

We will wait until we have at least a dozen members before we approve the first questions.

All genres, so don't get distracted by the example here.

Enjoy yourself!