When Harry Met Rosamund

According to Sharon  Kay Penman in her

novel Time and Chance, King Henry II

met the Fair Rosamund at Woodstock. 

 

Far out, man!

Women Won't Read Books with Male Narrators

Four bestsellers narrated by men.

 

A pant from August 2012.

There is discussion right now* on the Historical Novel Society's Yahoogroup whether women, who are said to be the greater number of readers of historical fiction, will read novels where the first person narrator is male. To be more exact, the question is whether these readers will buy these books.

It appears that certain publishers do not think so. I have heard from more than one author of historical fiction that although an editor might love a manuscript, the sales and marketing folks put the kaibosh on adding it to their catalog. They say it is too large a risk to publish a book with a male narrator. Women just won't buy them, and there are not enough men buying historical fiction to make up the loss.

I have two questions.

1. Is this even true?

2. What data are the publishers' sales departments using?

I can think of several novels off the top of my head that are narrated by men.

Bernard Cornwell's series The Warlord Chronicles and The Saxon Chronicles
Barry Unsworth's Morality Play
Brandy Purdy's The Confession of Piers Gaveston
Kate Sedley's Roger the Chapman mysteries

And I know there are many more. I read all of these enthusiastically, and last time I checked my DBA indicated I am female

(I suppose the next question is.. but am I female?  Hmm... hadn't thought of that when I wrote this.)

I will save my rant on this subject for a later date. For now I want to hear what you have to say. Please take the anonymous poll in the upper right hand corner of this blog. Add specific comments by clicking on "Comments" below. We need to get to the bottom of this.

* Originally posted on 12/9/08. 

Buy My Novels or I Will Kill These Boys

Little Princes In the Tower Mercy!  Where to buy my novels...

Highest Rankign FTM Officer in Civil War

General C. T. Moss

Name at vbirth: Nanette Haas

Sharpe's Plot

The scene opens as Wellington, sitting in his tent at his desk, discusses an important message with his intelligence expert, Snidely Malevolent. "Your Grace," Malevolent says in a knowing way, "we must find a man who is expendable but has a chance at succeeding at this suicide mission."

Wellington raises one eyebrow. "Sharpe."

Later Wellington stares at the rakishly handsome Sergeant then Lieutenant, then Sergeant, then Lieutenant then Major then Lieutenant.. Richard Sharpe. He introduces him to the foppish officer standing to his right. "Sharpe, this is Two-ranks-higher-tha-yours Snootly-Newbie. He will be your commanding officer. He has no idea how to command, or even how to get his sword out of its scabbard, but you must do exactly as he says."

In his unaccountably but sexily Sheffield accent, Sharpe protests, "But my lord... he'll get us all killed..."

"You may have savced my life once but that doesn't mean you get to question my orders. I made you, I can break you!" Wellington barks.

Outside Sharpe finds a way to say "bugger" three times in one sentence while telling Harper of their mission.

"God save Ireland!" Sharpe's loyal friend comments. Then he says, "Now will ye look at that?"

Sharpe turns to see Newbie-Snootly helping a woman out of a carriage. "Don't tell me the bugger is bringing his tart of a wife with him? We are all dead for sure."

"So we are."

"Sharpe, this is my high-bosomed wife, Lady Tragica Pudenda. I want you and your rifleman to guard her especially, eh, what?" Snootly-Newbie says. "I shall be occupied fllinging myself and the rest into needless danger. My dear, eh what, Mr. Sharpe is not a gentleman. You may speak to him, assuming you can understand his lower class accent."

"You're not Engllish?" Sharpe asks as he kisses her hand, trying not to notice how her bosom heaves at his very touch.

"No, Mr. Sharpe, I am the widow of Don Geroic Partisan," she informs him, pronouncing Geroic with a sound like a cat coughing up a furball.

"He fought well, Señora."

"And died better," the oddly not sunburnt-bosomed woman says from under long dark eyelashes.

"God save Ireland," comes the voice of Harper once more.

On the road Harper asks, "Now how did we come to be the lady's bodyhuard?"

"Well, I didn't choose it," Sharpe replies with his mouth in a charmingly derisive position.

Their conversation is broken off when Snootly-Newbie's aide, Sniveling Toadie, rides up. "Mr. Sharpe, you are to attack that obviously immpreganable mountain fort."

"But all my men are assigned to watch the lady..."

"You are to do it alone."

Scowling, Sharpe mutters "bugger" but turns and starts to walk up the slope.

"Will ye not wait for me?" Harper calls after him.

"But you are guarding Lady Tragica Pudenda!"

"So I am, and so she can take care of herself, God save Ireland."

As Sharpe and Harper turn together a grinning desperado grabs the lady and hauls her away.

From the top of the fort the commander, El Bastardo (Le Bâtarde if French)shouts, "Buenas dias/bonjour, famous Sharpe. If you try to stop me from doing my elaborately nefarious activities, I shall kill the lady."

In spite of the impossible odds Sharpe and Harper get into the fort, find the commander, and Sharpe duels with him. It is obvious that El Bastardo (Le Bâtarde if French) is the better swordsmsm, so Sharpe kicks him in the balls and kills him. Oddly Tragica is still alive even though the oily guard has his gun to her head and his finger on the trigger. Sharpe stabs him and releases Tragica, who presses herself and her high bosom against himm breathing heavily.

Back at the command tent Snootly-Newbie takes credit for their success but blames Sharpe for the death of Sniveling Toadie, whose throat was cut while shaving. It seems that Toadie's great uncle is one of the Prince Regents snookah buddies. Wellington demotes Sharpe. After the foppish officer goes off arm in arm with his wife, who looks wistfully back at Sharpe, Wellington, nose akimbo, glares Sharpe out of the tent.

Outside Snidely Malevolent leans confidentially to Sharpe, "I shouldn't worry about it, Mr. Sharpe. The Duke knows that Toadie was a collaborator of El Bastardo's (Le Bâtarde's if French). You will have your rank back after the good officer over there is out of earshot."

"Bugger," Sharpe replies.

"God save Ireland!' comments Harper.

With a nostalgic look back at Tragica Pudenda, Sharpe turns and walks up the hill and far away, ensuring a good view of his butt for its afficianadas as the end music soars.

With compliments to one of my own favorite authors, Bernard Cornwell.

Originally posted 12/23/08.

Famous New Year's Resolutions

Thomas More, the Original Party Animal

The irrepressible Susan Higginbotham and I are doing it again. This time it's the New Year's resolutuins of some of the famous and infamous and perhaps a couple fictional characters as well. 

New Year's Resiolutions

Brian Boru: Fewer wives, more sons. That's the recipe for a peaceful united Ireland.

Lady Godiva: To work out more often.

Harold Godwinson: To let the fyrd go home early for harvest this year -- 1066.

William of Normandy: To get in touch with my Inner Bastard.

William Rufus: To get more time off from being king, like spending more time hunting in the New Forest.

Brother Cadfael: To look into $4 prescriptions at Wal*mart.

Robin Hood: To tell my girlfriend I'm not the Marian kind.

Henry II: To spend more time with my wife and sons.

Richard I: To pay a visit to that place over the Channel, whatever it's called. Oh, that's right. England!

John: To schedule an appointment with that public relations guy.

Robert the Bruce: T o spend more time on the Web.

Hugh le Despenser the elder: To be more strict with little Hugh.

Richard II: To get rid of that Henry Bolingbroke fellow before he really becomes a pest.

Margaret of Anjou: To assert myself more.

George, Duke of Clarence: To get along better with my brother Ned.

Perkin Warbeck: To find myself.

Thomas More: To complete my unfinished book so that posterity will know what a truly great guy Richard III was.

Richard Sharpe: To see Boney.

Nathan Bedford Forrest: To train my horses not to be afraid of ducks.

Nan Hawthorne:  To get to know Kit Moss even better than I do now.

Happy 2013!

This post was originally published 12/31/08

STAY OF EXECUTION!

Back by popular demand.. or rather, by some compelling begging from a couple folks.

"Historically Off Center" is back.. but will start over, and devote itself, with Kit's help one supposes, to humor and novel approaches to the past and our silliness about the people therefrom.

READY?

Some, in fact, many may seem familiar.  So, sue me...

Watch this space....