Latest Set of Searches

s many of you know, it can be puzzling to look over what search phrases lead googlers to one's site.  The following are for this blog, Nan Hawthorne's Booking the Middle Ages.

Daddy Longshanks

Is this what Nedikins called his Pop?

what would you call a maid in the middle ages?

I don't know, just don't call her late for the feast.

words used to describe historical fiction

Um, how about: womderful, amazing, fascinating, important, educational, well-written?

reviews of books by Ian Morson

Of which there were none on my blog.

where midgets burned at the stake in the middle ages

Wherever it was I would recommend Little People stay the hell out of it.

etiquette in middle ages

The post I wrote was actually about etipquette in author PR, but there was etiquette in the Middle Ages too.  For instance, it was considered quite impolite not to avert your eyes when castrating those you were also about to draw and quarter. 

nudity in medieval ages

It was particularly rampant in newborns.

holly king story

Robin the Boy Wonder  apparently took one look at the cover of my novel and said this, followed by "Batnan!"

review The Afflicted Girls

Bingo!  for once...

famous new year resolutions

Since all the ones they would find on my blog are fakes, I suspect there will be some recommendations from teachers to resolve not to believe everything you read on the Internet.
 
what is a detailed itinerary for a person in the middle ages
 
Very brief.

Christmas and New Year Revels

An Involuntary Christmas, or How Lawrence and Elerde Found the True Meaning of Christmas

Read a story written just for those of you who have read my novel, An Involuntary King, at

An Involuntary KIng: The Stories - An Involuntary Christmas

And a Happy Holidays to you all!  May you be showered with great novels throughout 2010!

Storytelling: The Raison D'être of Artistic Prose

From the Author's Note of The Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer

Although the short story is not in vogue nowadays, I still believe that it constitutes the utmost challenge to the creative writer. Unlike the novel, which can absorb and even forgive lengthy digressions, flashbacks, and loose construction, the short story must aim directly at its climax. It must possess uninterrupted tension and suspense. Also, brevity is its very essence. The short story must have a definite plan; it cannot be what in literary jargon is called "a slice of life."

The masters of the short story, Chekhov, Maupassant, as well as the sublime scribe of the Joseph story in the Book of Genesis, knew exactly where they were going. One can read them over and over again and never get bored. Fiction in general should never become analytic. As a matter of fact, the writer of fiction should not even try to dabble in psychology and its various isms. Genuine literature informs while it entertains. It manages to be both clear and profound. It has the magical power of merging causality with purpose, doubt with faith, the passions of the flesh with the yearnings of the soul. It is unique and general, national and universal, realistic and mystical. While it tolerates commentary by others, it should never try to explain itself. These obvious truths must be emphasized, because false criticism and pseudo-originality have created a state of literary amnesia in our generation. The zeal for messages has made many writers forget that storytelling is the raison d'etre of artistic prose.  (My italics.)

Never forget that.  never lose sight of the purpose of fiction, and that is to tell stories.  Stories are a central need in the human heart and mind.  better a well-told story that touches its readers than a strictly factual history that enlightens and entertains no one.

Making Light of the Dark Ages, and the Crusades

Byzantine Emperor Alexius II rips Count Rauymond

a new one after the massacre at Merzifon.

"My dear Count, I thought we understood each other. 

 'Toulouse' is your name, not your quest."

September 1101.

"An Involuntary King" Outtake

One of the fun things about writing novels is the relationship one builds with characters. I don't know how many authors do this, but I have had character panels and even written myself into the stories from time to time.

Here is one of the latter instances from my novel, An Involuntary King, meant to fit into the point in the first draft where Lawrence leaves Josephine alone while he waltzes off to his new fortress. Incidentally, my "co-author" Laura did not like this story at all. Unlike me she prefers not to admit to a personal relationship with the characters... ahem.

See old, new and outtakes stories from An Involuntary King on the An Involuntary King: The Stories blog.

The King and Queen were about to take their leave of each other, she to stay behind and he to go off to his new capital.

Suddenly out of nowhere two women appeared near them. One was short and stout and had long currently red hair and they both appeared by 8th century standards to be in their late 30s but were in fact in their 50s. Both were dressed very oddly.

The red haired one strode over to where Lawrence was preparing to mount his horse. Before anyone could move, she had grabbed him by an earlobe and was dragging him to one side. "You, my dear Lawrence, need a Timeout," she said, reprovingly.

Meanwhile the other woman with one hand on her hip was in Josephine's face waving a scolding finger. "Are you ever going to get a spine, Josephine?" Josephine stepped back, but the woman just advanced on her. "Why are you two always making yourselves miserable?"

The woman who had pulled Lawrence aside was similarly berating the King. "OK, so your willy doesn't work right now.. that doesn't mean you have to go off and pout. I thought you were supposed to be so devoted to Josephine. Why are you going off and leaving her alone with your child. Do you have any idea what that could lead to?"

The woman with Josephine heard this and added, "Yes, with your pathological need to be loved and adored.. don't you know what that does to men?"

Josephine looked over at Lawrence. "His willy isn't working?"

Lawrence blushed. The woman with him snapped, "Oh grow up. You were wounded.. it happens. You'll get over it." She pressed a button on her watch and a quiet man's voice said the time. "In fact any time now."

Lorin, who was standing watching all this, came up and cleared his throat. They all four looked at him. "Well met,. Laura. Well met, Nan."

Laura and Nan exchanged glances.

Lorin, in his dignified way, simply went on. "Begging thy leave, mayst I remind thee that thou wrote all this nonsense."

Nan looked defensive. Well yeah, but we were teenagers."

Lorin's look was withering. "Aye, but thou art not teenagers now. "

Laura crossed her arms. "Well what do you want, Lorin? To leave him enchanted and out of his mind or in a coma for the umpteenth time and her running off to France, managing to conceive twins immaculately?"

Now it was Lawrence and Josephine who exchanged glances and looked puzzled.

"Enchanted? A coma?" he asked.

"Twins? Immaculately?" she repeated.

Nan protested, "Yeah, at least this is more realistic."

Lorin gazed at his two authors will ill conceived irritation. "If thou canst rewrite it that far, then why cannot thou make them happy for once?" He looked over at his very pregnant wife Anne. "And now thou art going to kill off my Anne." Behind him Anne gasped.

Nan muttered, "Well there are rules about these things..."

Laura affirmed, "It wouldn't be The Story anymore if we change things too much."

Lawrence and Josephine had left their respective authors and were now clinging to each other for support.

Lorin said, "All I am saying, my ladies, is that do what thou wilt, do not chide thy creations for doing what thou hast made them do."

Again Laura and Nan looked at each other. Then each went to her respective creation.

"Jo, it does get better.. eventually," Laura said.

Nan nodded as she gave the King a hug. "I'd say keep your pecker in your pocket but then Tavish would never be born." She turned to Josephine and gave her a hug too. "He adores you, you know."

Laura nodded, "And if I thought you'd remember this for more than ten minutes, I'd tell you, Lawrence, that she is never in love with anyone but you."

And they winked out.

Lawrence breathed, "Those two scare the shit out of me." His wife nodded and buried her face in his chest.

Sorry, Laura.

Image: A drawing I did at about 15 of what Lawrence and josephine would have looked like in the 1960s.

King Holly, King Oak: A Homemade Video

Recent posts

Do Book Rebiews Sell Books?
A Book's a Book for A' That
What Book Would You Like to Find under your Tree?
Doomsday: The Ultimate Case for Ebooks

Listen to Celtic Christmas Music on Radio Dé Danaan

Do Book Reviews Sell Books?

e'll tell you what we learned about whether book reviews sell books, and you tell us your experiences!

The way I know book reviews sell some books, at any rate, is that more than one person has, as a result of a review I wrote, said "I want to read this book! Thanks for the review!" But how many books one review sells depends on a lot of factors, not the least of which is the quality of the review and the reviewer.

In an article titled Book Reviews Sell Books Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D., writes:

More than 200,000 books are published each year. Less than 2% of those books sell more than 500 copies. We’ve all heard the saying, “So many books. So little time.” People don’t want to waste time or money reading books they won’t enjoy, so they rely on book reviews to help them make buying decisions. Your book will stand out if it receives positive reviews from reliable reviewers.

OK, that's logical, but all it says is that book reviews could sell books.. not that they definitely do. And that word "reliable" gives me pause. One thing I have discovered about many of the book blogs I look at is that editors seem more focused on the author than the reader. I don't think that is what reviews are for, to encourage authors as one editor told me her review blog was all about. In my understanding, book reviews are to "help [book buyers] make buying decision," as Dr. Tichelaar avers. That must mean that all these book blogs are what he would call "unreliable"

When I write a review I try to be candid. I have a background teaching English literature so I am well-informed as to what makes writing good, and not just enjoyable. As a result I get the impression that my reviews make other reviewers a little nervous. And I thought I was generous enough without actually lying about what I read. What good does it do a reader if all they hear from a reviewer is niceness? If I have some prejudice or druther when it comes to a book's topic, I either skip writing that one or come clean about it. But others have deleted reviews I have written because they weren't "nice" enough.

That makes me wonder if all reviews really do is what I am convinced most advertising succeeds at. Commercials inform you of a product.. They say, "Hey, look at this cool thing! Here's where you can get it." They leave to you to decide, once they've made that one sale, whether you plan to buy another of those things. You cant really do that with a book. Not that books have repeat purchases by a single consumer. That's the theory behind being the first person to read a book.. so you can advise others before they make the purchase.

In many ways most of the book blogs reviews are no more than extended plot descriptions made to look like a recommendation. I ask you, do these reviews make you want to read a book? If so, is it just that you found out about a book you like the sound of? If not, would you read the book if you knew more about the quality of aspects of the book.

Other reviewers simply tell you "I liked this book" or "I didn't like this book". Fortunately they usually say why. Unfortunately you rarely know whether the reviewer has any idea what she is talking about. That is often the case with books that a segment of the reading population deems "obscene". That's a term that is very much in the eye of the beholder. Since my definition of obscenity is probably quite a lot looser than many others' you can't trust me or them to warn you as you might wish.

I plan to look for something more solid in the way of facts to support whether reviews sell books, and when I find some I'll share them.

In the meantime, please answer one or more of the following questions, and share your thoughts generally in the Comments section.

1. Do you buy books or at least read them based on reviews you read? What is it in a review that convinces you?

2. What makes a good review? All niceness, all negatives, or a combination? How much of each, if this is even relevant to you?

3. Have you ever picked up a book because of a review and then discovered you don't agree with the reviewer?

4. Do you have certain publishers of reviews or certain reviewers whose judgment you trust? Who?

5. As an author or publisher, ls do you use to assess the success of a specific review?

Finally, as an author, what do you don a review comes out that you believe shows the reviewer had no clue whatever what you were writing about? By and large, do you think most reviews you have received been worth the electrons used to deliver them to potential readers?

A Book's a Book for A' That: Musings on Indie Authorship

veryone knows that I am a great proponent of independent publishing, that recently amplified industry formerly known as self publishing or less complimentary terms. I have had reason lately to look at indie authorship through more experienced eyes as I read commercially published novels that seem to lack the right to the stamp of automatic superior quality and indie books that match or exceed them in quality. Might we be seeing a real move to populist publishing?

And everyone knows my position on why indie publishing is important. With the economy troubled and the changing nature of the commercial publishing industry into a risk adverse industry, good books are no longer necessarily the product this industry seeks. More and more the role of the editor in making the choice as to what gets published is being ceded to the marketing department. This is for a reason. The highly leveraged publishing corporations no longer can take a chance on new authors. They must go with the tried and true moneymaker. Unfortunately what sells is being defined by said marketing department. You might say, "Well, they just go by sales, right?" Yes, but conclusions drawn from the numbers can be wrong. I am constantly hearing that "publishers won't accept" this topic or theme or character. Some examples in historical fiction are eras other than Tudor England, countries other than England, first person narratives by men, and gay or lesbian protagonists.

What I want to know is, where do they get this? For it to be experience, they must have taken a chance on books with characteristics they deem unpopular. I have not myself seen evidence of this. Perhaps they do research on consumer preferences. Now, I ask you, is there not a big difference between what you think you will buy based on the question, "Would you buy a book about a lesbian?" and what you might actually read if you heard about a novel others have read and enjoyed? Do the publishing companies choose what books they accept rather on their own assessments of why a book did or did not sell that are based on their own prejudices or simple misapprehension?

OK, the fact is that this is how the publishing world works. It is not likely to change, no matter the eloquence of my minstrelsy. Now let's look at independently published books. Yes, there is some real crap out there, but more and more I am finding that just because a book was published by a big publisher is no guarantee that it is all that good. Again, they publish what sells or what they perceive will sell. On the other hand, I have read some top flight novels of late where the author chose to go the indie route. A stellar example is The Afflicted Girls by Suzy Witten. A novel I am reading now, The Amber Treasure by Richard Denning is shaping up to be another. Both these novels would be tossed out labeled as crap by some bookstores, certainly overlooked by "reputable" review publications and most certainly overlooked by libraries. Yet they are some of the better novels I have read in some time.

So what are you saying, Nan? How can authors manage without that corporate stamp of approval? I don't know yet. My ever wise husband Jim says that the independent book will inevitably come into its own. The big corporate publishers are like the dinosaurs, just too big to survive the scarcity of the resource they feed on, that being money. He believes that in particular the growing ebook industry will be the new adaptable species that thrives in the new climate. And it will ultimately be the consumer, the reader, who makes this happen.

Power to the People Who Buy Books. May they find what they wish to read, not what a marketing department thinks they do.

I subtitled this essay "Musings on Indie Authorship". By doing that I meant to focus on two things: the quality of books coming out of the indie publishing industry and the choice each author has to make about how to proceed. I have established that indie does not equal low quality, no matter the common wisdom, but I can't tell any author whether to go with a commercial publlisher or stay independent. The fact is this is the transition time. It will be years before the vaunted critical mass will visibly lean to the indie side assuming it is going to do that. I expect that necessity will rule in this matter, for the author I mean. You can stoutly declare that you won't surrender and publish on your own, but if that means your novel will never be published, you might change your tune. Given the way the econom y is going, that is even the more likely outcome. I am as stuck between this proverbial rock and hard place as you are. I know what I want to do with my latest manuscript, but what I will eventually do is quite another thing.

Patience. We can do our bit to help support indie authors by buying their books and publicly praising those we value. Ultimately I suspect the movers will be the ebook companies that are growing rapidly to fill niche desires in reading. That is as it should be, as the books that should be published are the ones that people want to read. It is encouraging to see companies like Smashwords moving into a larger market share -- they are now supplying ebooks for Amazon.com -- as their consumer base is broader and their appeal as well.

We have no choice really but to wait and see and do what our individual judgment directs us to choose for our beloved creations. A book's a book for a' that. Let's just hope and do what we can to see to it readers are served well and generously.

Learn more about indie publishing, whether you are an author or a reader, at Independent Authors Guild.

Nan HawthorneAuthor, An Involuntary King: A Tale of Anglo Sacxn England
http://www.nanhawthorne.com

What Book Would You Like to Find Under Your Tree?

What book would you love to find under your tree this Winter Holiday?

Click on Comments below and dream your dreams aloud.

Image "borrowed" from clinicians with not enough to do.

End of November: Is it Soup Yet?

We Are the Champions, My Friends!

Check it out, one of the two heroes of the end-of-the-world movie 2012 is a novelist.. and an underrepresented one at that. Yay us!

National Novel Writing Month 2009

NaNoWriMo is all but over in the Pacific Time Zone. I finished! I reach my 50,000 somewhere around November 20th, then switched my goal to finishing the first draft of my novel. I did that today, with a total count of 78,307 words! The novel itself, the story of a woman who goes to the Crusade of 1101 disguised her late twin brother, will no doubt be around 100,000 to 115,000 when the second draft is done. I plan to seek a publisher for the book this time.

The most important part of participating in NaNoWriMo for me this year is that it broke me out of whatever block or slump or miasma or whatever was stopping me from getting writing again. On the theory I once heard that anything you do, or don't do, for 21 days becomes a habit, it worked for me. Llike most if not all of you, writing gets my endorphens spouting.. and I am happily addicted again.

Interesting New Blogs

Fictional Appearance By.. Real people in Historical Fiction will cover a topic I find intriguing, obviously what real people have been fictionalized in historical fiction. There are several articles posted already, about many of the historical figures we all love to follow like paparazzi follow movie stars. Go take a look and see who is there.

Fans of History and Women will be glad to know that while the original blog has been retired, a replacement popped up almost immediately. The New History and Women blog has a selection of the biographies drawn from the old blog and will continue in the same tradition, with authors Maggie Anton, Greta Marlow, Anne Gilbert, Brandy Purdy, and me as the remaining editors. Gemini Sasson has stepped away to finish two manuscripts, and Mirella Patzer, the woman responsible for the history and Women blog and all its awards, is focusing on other projects of her own, including her own fourth novel.

Speaking of Brandy

If you are looking for Brandy Purdy's upcoming release of The Boleyn Wife in the UK, look instead for The Tudor Wife by Emily Purdy. It's the same book, same author, just amde up to sound more British, I guess. Youo can find out more and read the great reviews at www.brandypurdy.com .

Holiday Music, Celtic Style

'Tis the winter holiday season, so it is, and i am after invitin' ye all to partake of a Celtic celebration on Radio Dé Danaan. I am looking for, and finding, winter holiday music from not only Ireland, Scotland and Wales, but also Cornwall, the Isle of Man, the Orkneys and the Hebrides, Brittany, Astirias and Dalicia, and Cape Breton in Canada. This will largely be Christmas music, but believe it or not I have found CVeltic music for Hanukkah as well, and needless to say some Yule music for our Pagan fans, and that most famous Scottish song of all, Auld Lang Syne. So tune in soon for an increasing saturation of holiday music on Radio Dé Dnaan, Music of the Pan-Celtic World.

Now.. to get back to all my back emails....

Doomsday: The Ultimate Case for Ebooks

I just went to see the new movie, 2012.My review in a nutshell: the effects were everything you have heard they were, the script one disaster movie cliché after another: divorced family, scientist no one believes, up to the last minute solution, corruption vs. self sacrifice. My favorite line in the movie, I think, was "If you want to give up your space on this ship to one of those workers down there, go right ahead." He doesn't.

The very best thing about the movie is that one of the two protagonists is a novelist, and an unappreciated one at that! You go!

Anyway, without really pulling a spoiler, let me just say that part of the story is the desire to preserve human culture. Early in you see the president's daughter helping to switch the real paintings in the Louvre with fake ones so that the real ones can be preserved. It occurered to me, being far more into books than art, that ebooks could be the best way to preserve the collected literature of all our heritages.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before" it's just not the same, you want something made of paper to hold in your hands. Go for it, nobody is stopping you. But as literature is intellectual rather than physical we can preserve the essence of it in digital form, which takes up a lot less space. A lot less! I'm not actually expecting Armageddon, but there are just so many good reasons to create digital copies of every book we have. This is just one.. if the final one.

So my hat is off to all those who endeavor to save the great writing of the world, whether for posterity or for some Brave new World. As the other protagonist says of the novelist's book, "The man who wrote this book may not even be alive but thanks to his book, human culture will be preserved."

You betcha!

Sharpe's Thanksgiving: A Menu

Setting:

A cannon-blasted faarmhouse in Flanders, Portugal or Spain

Guests:

Capt. Richard Sharpe, 95th Rifles, South Essex
Sgt. Patrick Harper
Rifleman Daniel Hhagman
Rifleman Harris
Rifleman Perkins
His Lordship, Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington
His Imperial Highness, the Emperor Napoleon
His Royal Highness, the Prince of Orange
An ever-changing rotating series of womn in love with or loved by Sharpe

The Menu:

~ Soup Trafalgar, a godawful mix of nothing anyone wants to know
~ Poached Eggs a la Hagman
~ Your choice of Salt Beef Wellington or Pan-fried Horsesteak served in the front breastplate of a Cuirvasdsier, now deceased
~ Your choice of Tommy cakes, na'an or Hardtack
~ Salt Fish à la Turpentine
~ Spanish Rice
~ French Fries
~ Chile con Carne Vivar
~ Tippoo Sultanas
~ Tobacco, molasses and slaves from Virginia, courtesy XCat. Leroty

Your choice of beverage: tea made from birch leaves, port from Oporto, rum, ale , arrack , McCandless Scotch whiskey or gunpowder tea

Your dessert choice: Napoleons, Danish pastry, Durch Apple Pie, more rum

Oranges and cigars

Grace will be said by El Catolico -- be prepared to duck when he says "Amen".

Happy Thanksgiving from Nan and Jim, with a spe3cial thanks to author
Bernard Cornwell!

Historical Fiction Round Up, Holiday Gift Edition

We are delighted once again to offer this opportunity to authors to get the word out about their novels, new or old. Be sure to include instructions on how to find your book and, if possible, how to contact you.

For readers this post is a sort of shopping list for your holiday books. make sure you also check out the earlier Historical Fiction Roundups listed on the right of any post on this blog.

Since this is gift-giving season, we also would like to hear from everyone about books you loved and are sure other historical fiction fans would love to see wrapped up under the tree, or wherever you put your holiday presents.

Some fun gifts your medievalist fan would love are at Shieldwall Productions, a CafePress Store, with unique clothing and other gifts with unicorns, castles, and other designs. Take a look. The shirt on the left says "Historical novelists do it in the past!"

Present, you say?! For shame. The past is where it's at!

OK, now, let's hear the good news about your books and books you recommend!

[Book Review] Short Story: Deliverance, by Aleksandr Voinov

Deliverance
Aleksandr Voinov

Deliverance is a short story in a gayhistorical fiction antholigy from Novle Romance called Forbidden Love. There are three other stories, My Outlaw by Stormy Glen, Forbidden by H. C. Brown and Poisoned Heart by Anna O’Neill. Forbidden takes place in Norman England, or a reasonable.. well not really.. facsimile thereof. I mean, one of the people mentioned in the story is El Cid, for Pete's sake. But I am perfectly aware of and accept that the point of this story was not necessarily anatomical accuracy no less historical.

So much the more astounding, then, is Deliverance by Aleksandr Voinov. It tells the story of William Raven of kent whose love for Guy, his tournament partner, was becoming so notorious that he escaped to the Holy Land and found "deliverance" by becoming a Knight Templar. Lo and behold Guy, still carrying a torch for William, shows up and William must battle his desire for Guy while coming to understand why Guy is so angry with him. The actual "deleverance" comes when he makes his decision about which oath, his first one to Guy and his second to the Templars, is the priorty.

The thing with this story is that it is good! It is easily the best written in the anthology and could stand alone as a well written story in any collection. the characterization is good, the writing better, and whaddya know, the author actually knows a great deal about the Crusades and the era. Aleksandr Voinov has done a fine job that will not make any historical accuracy obsessed reader shake his or her head. All that and erotica too.

This story is only available as part of the anthology, Forbidden Love., an ebook in several formats, at least two of them accessible for people with print impairments. I purchased my download of the book. It should go without saying, this is a novel for mature audiences only.

Was "Ring Around the Rosie" About The Plague?

When I was a kid, the version of "Ring Around the Rosie" I learned was:

Ring around the rosie,
A pocketful of posies,
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

I also heard that this rhyme was a sort of childish commemoration of the Plague, and being a freak about the Middle Ages by the time I was five, I assume it meant the Black Death of the 1340s and later. The references pointed were:

- a rosy rash characteristic of the onset of plague
- posies carried at the nose to prevent contagion
- ashes as a symbol of death
- everyone falling down, i.e., dying

I have accepted this theory for my entire life, at least until this very evening I looked up what the prevailing thought of folklorists is. And they say "Not likely."

They give several convincing reasons. For one, the theory itself did not even arise until 1951, although many versions of the nursery rhyme appeared in print starting with a possible 1790 example. In addition:

- a rosy rash is, in fact, not a very common symptom of either the 14th century or the 17th century plagues,
- there are numerous version s of the rhyme that do not contain these and other perceived allusions to plague,
- the fact that "falling" was a common element in play of many kinds and always meant "curtsying" not literally falling, and
- the very fact that the interpretation of the rhyme as being about the plague only emerged in the second half of the 20th century.

So, it seems, the childhood game with its rhyme is not nearly as macabre as we all thought.

Here are a few other bersions of the rhyme.

1881

Ring-a-ring-a-roses,
A pocket full of posies;
Hush! hush! hush! hush!
We’re all tumbled down.

United Kingdom, Ireland

Ring a-ring o' roses,
A pocketful of posies.
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!.
We all fall down.

Australia and New Zealand

Ring a ring a rosie
A pocketful of posies
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!. (or a tissue, a tissue)
We all fall down.

India

Ring-a Ring-a roses,
Pocket full of poses.
Husha, Busha.
We all fall down.

There are several versions in use in the United States. For example, in Louisiana and Southeast Texas:

Ring around the rosey,
Pocket full of posies.
Upstairs, downstairs.
We all fall down.

See more versions on Wikipedia and The Phrase Finder.

And enjoy a video version.



What version did you learn and where did you live? Use "POst a Comment" to reply.

Further Thoughts on Kindle 2's Text to Speech

See Kindle 2: Possible Drawback for Authors and Readers.

Having my Kindle 2 has been a great thing for me. It has opened up a huge selection of reading material that hitherto was outside my reach at least without a great deal of work and expenditure. Almost as important is that it allows me to be a consumer rather than a recipient of a government program, something that feels more dignified to me. Yes, the libraries for the blind are equivalent to any library, an institution I value and admire. But there is the feel of being done for and cosseted that we certainly will not get past for some time, I think, in our culture.

Ebooks and in particular Kindle 2 allows someone like me, an intellectual and overachiever, some independence and self sufficiency that I just could not have before.

So though obviously from my blog entry I understand authors who might not care to put their books on it because of the limitations of the test to speech, it also makes me sad that those books will be out of my reach for the most part. I tolerate the silliness of text to speech dictionaries because I'd rather do the mental adjustment than miss out altogether.

What I would love to see, given that the ancillary beneficiaries of the text to speech of the Kindle 2 are regarded as rather whiny demanding people and therefore not taken all that seriously as consumers, and to a degree understandably so, is authors and publishers coming forward to make their desires known about higher quality presentation of their work. I am not talking about your championing print impaired people. That;'s for us to do. I hope you will advocate rather for your work, for its optimal presentation. You deserve it. Your reward will be a wider readership.

So rather than dismissing this one outlet, think about speaking up not only as a consumer but as a producer of goods.

Let me just add that I recently, as many of you know, really battled to get independently published books taken seriously by my local library for the blind. They were out of hand rejecting indie books because of a bias that was not without some foundation. The result of my careful education is that this library, anyway, will look at an indie book and judge it uniquely when they choose whether to reproduce it in an accessible format. On its individual merits.

I hope I have brought indie authors and at least one of these libraries together. It seems like one of my quests in life is to get authors to make sure their books are available to the avid and hungry readers who are print impaired and those readers so they have access to "books outside the box".

Kindle is a stepping stone.

Kindle 2: A Possible Drawback for Authors and Their Readers

Getting your novel published on Kindle has lots of attractions. Let's face it, the more ways people can read it the better. The fact that the Kindle also has the "read aloud" feature makes the device not only accessible to people with print impairments, it basically turns a book into an audio book without paying narrators and sound studios.

Unfortunately one unfortunate fact has come to light. We already know that the average audio book reader, meaning the person, not the device, will not likely tolerate the mechanical nature of the text-to-speech voices. Print impaired people are used to it by now. While the books recorded by the National Library Services are professionally narrated, our various speech output applications have about as much resemblance to a human voice as any run-of-the-mill robot.Any authors worrying about the competing with their audio books can relax. It ain't gonna happen.

Now a new problem has come to.. well, not light, but definitely sound. While happily listening to Helen Hollick's splendid Sea Witch on my own Kindle I was dismayed by the pronunciation of the main characters' names: Jessamiah and Tiola. My computer reads them as jess-uh-MY-uh and TEE oh la. That's pretty close to what Hollick intended. But the Kindle 2 reads them as juh SAY me ack and SHY luh! Say what?

I contacted Amazon's Digital Rights people and asked whether the pronunciation of words in the Kindle's dictionary can be edited. The answer was no.

Now if I was as attached to one of my characters as I know Hollick is to Jessamiah (I am, but "Lawrence" and "Shannon" are easy to prounce) I would absolutely refuse to let his name get so mangled and would simply not put the book on the Kindle. This won't be an issue if you, as a novelist, don't care whether the people who prefer or have no choice other than to listen to books read yours. (If the latter is the case, then expect a withering look and n o review from me!) But my educated guess is that the Sea Witch series will never be on Kindle.

Whether the Kindle's makers have any clue about this limitation, I can't say. I personally believe that the "read aloud" feature on it was purely a gimmick to sell a new generation of Kindle. If that's what it is, then hey, I am happy to take advantage as I was with the first talking watches. But I'm with Hollick if, as a result, she never puts her books on their catalog.

Historical Fiction is Speculative Fiction

Remember when they used to call genre of Heinlein and Asimov science fiction?Some clever person came up with the idea sometime in the 60s or 70s to start calling it speculative fiction. This new designation was more accurate, after all, and what's more, it allowed for inclusion of some other genres with similar if not identical fans. What we called science fiction was not just about science. It was the "what if?" genre. What if humans could travel at speeds over the speed of light? What if we could travel through time? What if there was a society made up of magically powered princes who rode winged dragons/ That sort of thing.

You may, if you read me regularly, recall when I shared the comments of a woman who accused historical fiction of being misleading and downright wrong. She insisted that people read historical novels and come away with inaccurate ideas of what historical people were like, what they thought, and what they felt. My own reaction was something like,

A. Most historical novelists really try hard to research their eras and the events and people they portray, and
B. So what if they don't? It's a novel, not a textbook, for crying out loud.

That second of course sparked a furious flurry of "well I would never!" and "how could you?" and "lighten up, will you?" on the discussion lists and blogs. Oody woody hadda iddy biddy chip on our shoulders about not being historians, I think. In my conversations with actual historical novelists, I run into the "An it not be totally absurd, do as ye will". No potatoes for Pontius Pilate. That sort of thing. The story is what it it's all about.

So, to get to my point at long last, it occurs to me that historical fiction is also speculative fiction. I thought about this when reading the author's note in one of Sharon Kay Peman's novels. She said she tried to get it right, but if she wasn't spot on perhaps it did not really matter so much. She put it a l ot better than that, but just trust me. I agreed with her. She expressed something along the line that we can only guess what the people who lived through the events we write about thought or said or felt about them. We might have a hint in letters they wrote, but that's pretty rare. So what we do as historical novelists is speculate. We know, for instance, that Harold Godwinson hightailed it to Stamford Bridge where he fought, among others, his own brother Tostig. Then he had to turn around and dash south to be conquered by Normans. We know this. But how do we know how he felt when his kid brother lay dead near the bridge? And did he think about Edith Swanneck as he rode to his death? Was there a point when he thought, "Oh my God, we are going to lose this one?" Did one of his friends see the arrow pierce his eye and think, "No! Not Harold!"

That's all speculation, and it's our job to fill in those unknowns, the words that should appear in the word ballons. We try to do it carefully, ethically. We love these people we write about, and we want you all to come to know and love them too. So we will do all we can to make them real, make them accurate, but also make them feel like someone you could know.

Over and over I hear how someone became interested in history itself by reading historical fiction. In an essay I posted some weeks ago written by a teacher, she recounted how a young girl having read a fairly romantic portrayal of Pocahontas asked herself what the woman would probably have really been like. What would she have made of England when she went there? Did she ever miss her native shore? What really happened between her and John Smith? This same little girl started hitting the history books. If she keeps at it, makes primary research her career or even j ust her avocation, who knows what she might discover?

To the woman who told me historical novels were lies, all I can say is that it is one of the wonderful aspects of humans that we have imaginations and that we speculate about "what if"? It's that instiinct that also makes us wonder, "How would that person feel if.." and breeds what we calll humanity.

NaNo is Mega!

ou've been listening to me fret about just not getting into anything I was writing, watched me take one step after another to get myself revved up.

It is Day 14 of National Novel Writing Month and I just topped 40,000 words! The goal is 50k, which I will hit early this week. The novel itself is only about half done. I have to say that the whole thing felt right from the first sentence. If NaNoWriMo is supposed to get you to put words on a screen, it's working.

Just for the record, it's the story of a woman who dons her late twin bbrother's armor and sets out to join the disastrous Crusade of 1101. Just to be different my MC is German, not English, and there is not a single Irish character anywhere. It's a lesbian love story, a very sweet one at that, but my fans can count on my usual earthy style.

Why a lesbian story? It''s more interesting, that's why. And Elisabeth gives me a female character to write about who is more active, more adventuresome, and just plain more to my liking. My husband pointed out to me with the last book that none of the main characters I wrote were women. Of course, the queen is, but to be candid, I don't much like her. I invented Leofwen to try to make a woman character more to my liking. But her book is yet to be finished. Elisabeth, traveling as Elias, fits the bill.

I am having fun ridiculing people like Odo of Burgundy and Stephen of Blois (the other one), showing the pilgrim knights, they weren't called crusaders yet, for their more likely motivations, adventure, plunder, romanticism, and wanting the "get out of Hell free" card the Pope handed out. I am enjoying contrasting the groups who befriend Our Hero(ine), three high minded but clay footed knights and a band of mercenaries who while scoundrels are the more honorable. And I plan to solve the mystery of whatever happened to Ida of Austria.

I self published my first novel, but I have my eye on finding a publisher for this novel. An ebook publisher, which suits me since that means I will be able to read the thing too.

More than anything, I am astounded at how well this has gone. I think it was just what I needed. I find myself sitting down to scribble a few paragraphs in the next scene, a technique I use to get myself started the next day, and slapping out 1,000 words. I am confident that my writer's block or whatever it was is over. I can't wait to get back to Kerrick and Alehouse Tales!

So, NanoWriMo folks, old buddies, old pals, a great big THANK YOU for the impetus and inspiration to get what I needed back. The endorphens are spilling all over the damned place.

When Is a Book Review Not a Book Review?

An Editorial by Nan Hawthorne

When is a book review not a book review? When it is, in essence, a free advertisement.

I just resigned from a book review blog because a review I wrote was deemed "negative" and therefore unpublished. I had not known the policy of the group precluded anything but the most minor criticism of a book. If I had been, I should not have chosen to accept the invitation to participate. As I said recently to a colleague, I believe that if a reviewer cannot say what she thinks of a book she has no business reviewing it at all. It's dishonest. It calls into question the credibility of every single review published within its digital covers. It cheats those who read and trust the reviews.

I am terribly disappointed. I felt honored to be part of that group. But I simply feel that if authors want nothing but a send-off of their work, they should make sure their books are perfect. And you know and I know that no book is perfect. It's a subjective art, reviewing.

In the case of the book I reviewed "negatively" -- I don't happen to agree with that assessment, actually -- it had several plot threads that simply fizzled out and were never resolved. The book had its merits, the historical research was superb and it was one of the best portrayals of female friendships I have ever read written by a man. But the book was slow to start, got better, then started jumping about confusingly. Then it just ended. I feel it would have been a disservice to cover all that up.

To clarify, the site's policy is basically "If you have to say too much negative about a book, don't review it at all." In other words, you as the reader don't know if a book that is not on the site was tooo awful to review or was just never reviewed.

I don't understand how reviews of books where flaws are unacknowledged is anything but free advertising for the book?

I plan to ask the publishers of the site either to remove all my reviews as well as their review of my own novel or add a disclaimer that only positive comments were permitted.

As an author I object to mollycoddling. If I put out my work I must be prepared to hear things I don't like. I understand the author of the book whose flaws I acknowledged wrote to the owner of the site to object. The owner only said to me that his email "broke my heart". What sense does it make to write reviews then? I was not harsh or bitchy or nasty.. and I shouldn't be defending myself here. He should be defending his book. I know how it feels to have less than complimentary assessments of my work published. That's just the price of being a public artist.

My one chuckle over this situation concerns the new law that calls into question the integrity of product review blogs. As of December 1st bloggers in the U.S. must reveal if they received the book or other product they are reviewing in return for the review. This law doesn't apply to any mediem other than the Internet. The impllication is that people who review on the Internet are not to be trusted to have integrity, that we are likely to write rave reviews in exchange for compensation. In the case of book reviews, this is a laughable assertion, given that it is a rare review where the reviewer bought the book herself. That happens to be the case with most of my reviews, since That's All She Read is as much a place for me to record all the books I read.

But it appears that it doesn't take compensation or reward to assure a positive published assessment of a book. Ill-placed and unprofessional "niceness" will do the job as well.

Muisic to NaNo By

For the best mix of Celtic music from all over the wordl -- no, really! -- listen online to Radio Dé Danaan, Music of the Pan-Celtic World!


Now available on wifi Internet radio through Reciva Internet Radio and Pandora.

http://www.live365.com/stations/nan_hawthorne

Offer for UK Readers

I recently checked the price that Amazon.co.uk charges for my novel, An Involuntary King: A Tale of Anglo Saxon ENgland. I was appalled. Of course, it's a combination of the fact that the book costs too much anyway and that postage to ship from my printer to your green and sceptred-isle is likewise.

So I am making this offer to those to live in the land where my novel takes place, namely England. If you purchase the ebook version on Smashwords, I will give you a coupon for 100% off the cover price there. That is, I am giving you the book.

You will need to contact me to get the coupon code first.

hawthorne@nanhawthorne.com

You can check out the book's page on Smashwords for more information on the book itself.

To qualify you just have to tell me the name of the town and county you live in and the name of your favorite king or queen of England. That lpart is just to humour me.

Don't dilly dally... there's an expiration date for the coupon. It's not for a while, but still...

Nan Hawthorne

Introducing The Book Maven!

You remember a book or maybe just have heard of it, but you can't remember the title or the author. You really want to read it, but how can you if you don't know where or how to find it? Or perhaps you have a yen to read about a historical event or a famous person, and you wonder if anyone has written a novbel about it or him/her. Perhaps you even want to write the book yourself but want to be the first or only one?

Whatever your situation, you know this has happened to you. You can almost see the book in your hot little hands. You wish there was someone, a book maven you suppose, who knew all about books, in particular historical novels, and would know the title and author and could even find it for you.

There is. This week we launched a new feature on That's All She Read called, fortuitously enough called, well, Book Maven!

Everyone knows that Brandy Purdy can write one hell of a great historical novel. She's done it twice already, with The Confession of Piers Gaveston and The Boleyn Wife (originally published as Vendeance Is Mine.) (More on all three at http://www.brandypurdy.com.)

But did you know that she is also a talented bloodhound? No, I don't mean canis sleuthus criminallis floppus earae literally. For years she has been a professional book maven. People ask her to find books and she does. Even obscure or rare ones, if it is possible.

Now she is going to share part of that talent with us on That's All She Read. For instance, check out "Introducing Book Maven". You will get to see our bloodhound in action and how to get your own questions about historical novels answered.

Thanks, O redoubtable sleuth, for sharing your talent with our readers!

Ask the Book Maven a question.

Let the Pens Begin! National Novel Writing Month 2009

It is just over four hours until the start of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) here in the Pacific Time Zone. My friend Jack Graham started hours and hours ago, since he is in Sasebo, Japan. I know what he is going to write for NaNoWriMo this year, but I ain't gonna tell you... that's a good rule. What I will tell you is that Jack, who is a high school geometry teacher, has set up a local NaNoWriMo group composed of teachers and students from E. J. King High which is located on an army base. I will look forward to watching their pages pile up!

But, you ask, Nan, you are an established author! You don't need to prove to yourself you can write a novel. I blush, clear my throat, shuffle my feet and thank you for your generous assessment - and cast a baleful eye at the rest of you who giggled and rolled your eyes. But I answer your implied question, why am I doing NaNoWriMo? That's easy. Once I had my magnum opus finished and published, and it took me three years, not one friggin' month, all my drive seems to have wandered. I keep getting plotbunnies. That's not the problem, as most authors can attest. I just need to focus. The first novel had been brewing in me for decades. Now I had to see if I could start from scratch. I have started three novels since last fall, but while one, my NaNoWriMo from 2008, is nearly done, I have never finished it. I keep going back and forth between my mystery and a book of short pieces, fictionalized accounts of life in Anglo Saxon England. Coincidentally November happened again in 2009.. and I thought, hey, this could be just the thing!

What I hope to accomplish for NaNoWriMo 2009 is to get back into the habit of writing on a daily basis again. No wait, I do that now, but it's not books. I write blog entries, lots of them. I write little bits of fluff like this, book reviews, biographies of women in history, occasional fun pieces for Ghostletters. Other stuff. I want to get back into that magical addictive mindset of writing a single story. I want to get involved in people I am just now meeting, my characters. I want that state of mind where I am lost somewhere and sometime else. And I want that if at all possible to become my permanent state... Once one story is done, I start the next. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit. NaNoWriMo is plenty long enough. To make the 50,000 words in 30 days I will have to write an average 1,667 words a day. I plan to do more, since I might actually want to come up for air on Thanksgivbing Day at least. I think I can write for as many as four hours at a stretch.. we'll see.

I also want a second novel (third book, fifth if you count my volunteer resource management training manuals) written and shopped to publishers. Do I know what I want to write? Boy howdy! It was just a cute little baby plotbunnty until about a month ago. I wanted to do a woman/woman love story with one a the women a crusader knight. Yeah, I now, there weren't any women knights. Well I am here to tell you that the research I have done in the past month puts that absolute statement of truth into doubt. And besides, historical fiction has a speculative aspect. What if? And I have come up with a plausible set of circumstances for how this phenomenon might come to pass. Don't worry, there will be an author's note giving my evidence and apolligies and resisting the temptation to tell people who don't like it to relax and enjoy the story.

I will set my story during the Crusade of 1101, one of the lesser known Crusades that was basically a farce - a tragic farce, but a farce all the same. It is also called the Crusade of the Faint-hearted because it was peopled by those who didn't quite actually, you see, I mean, I tried to go, but.. there was this.. um.. thing.. I had to do. Oh and others who did go but ran away. It was such a disaster it made all the subsequent Crusades harder to do. It gave rise to the power of the Italian merchant city-states because it lost the safe route so only ships could get to the Holy Land. I should restate that. The Crusade was an unqualified success. For the Turks. Into this flopping about and cowardly behavior on the part of the leaders of the crusade I am dropping my ear lest Elisabeth, a Herman novlewoman who takes her late twin brother's armor, weapons and squire and heads off to free .. well.. something from someone. or something. She will meet a Turkish woman, fall in love, and various hijinks will ensue. Will it end tragically or happily? I don't know for sure yet. My characters will tell me as the writing goes along.

If you would like to track my progress, the little widget in the upper right of this blog will theoretically keep up with that, though it isn't working yet and I can't get an answer from the folks at NaNo as to what to do about that. You can also check my author page on their site.

nicol_harrity's Novel Writing Page

... yes, I know.. that's not my name. Actually it is. That's my pen name for erotic novels, which is what I wrote last year, an erotic romance set in Oxfordshire right after Waterloo. My novel this year is not an erotic novel per se, but it was just easier to keep the same account.

Wish me luck, be patient with me, and I look forward to reporting on December 1 how it all went. As the road signs say, if you write to me, "expect delays".

Columbus Discovered North America? I Don't Think So!

Few people still believe that Christopher Columbus was the first European to discover America. Besides the legends of the Irish St. Brendan and the Welsh explorer Madoc, the journeys to Vinland the Good are backed up by Viking structures found in Newfoundland.

Apologists for Columbus claim that while they will admit that Leif Erickson got here earlier that the Norse failed to alert the rest of Europe, making their discovery essentially moot.

Not so! And I can prove it.

In 1112 AD Pope Paschell II appointed the first bishop of America. Of course, it wasn't called that yet, Amerigo Bespucci not having been born no less made the map and affixing his name. But he did call it by its Norse name, Vinland. He appointed Iceland born cleric Erik Gnupsson bishop of Greenland and Vinland. Gnupsson, also called Bishop Henricus, lived in the Greenland town of . He traveled to Vinland, it is reported, at least once to minister to the spiritual needs of the Norse settlers there.

So... if no one knew that the Norse had started to settle Binland, why would the Pope have appointed a bishop?

And why, if the Church knew about it, no one went to look?

So go ahead and celebrate October 12. If it makes you happy, who am I to point ouot it is the celebration of an also-ran, hmmm?

The Shakespeare Quote Generator

Give thy porcupine no tongue.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

See more like this at surrealist.com .

How Sea Witch Began – or How I Met Captain Jesamiah Acorne, by Helen Hollick

A bit of magic has been going on of late between Helen Hollick in England and me in Washingto n State. Not only are we both passionate devotees of Harold Godwinson, the last Saxon king of England, but we have discovered that certain of our characters are more real to us than many factual people we know. She sent me this marvellous story about how she met the protagonist of her Sea Witch series. Ass my own protagonist shares an office with me, I understood completely. Here Helen recounts how she came to know one Captain Jessemiah Acorne.

The agent sat thoughtfully in her office chair puffing at her cigarette. "What you need to do, darling, is write a fantasy novel."

"But I don't really do fantasy, do I? I spent ten years writing my Arthurian trilogy without any fantasy whatsoever because I wanted to remove Arthur from the myth and magic."

"Yes but Harry Potter is all the rage. Why not write something for teenagers?"

The author trudged down the four flights of stairs and out into the London rain. She crossed the road opposite the Ritz, wondering if she could afford tea there. Checking her purse, she toddled into the less expensive Joe's Cafe instead.

She wasn’t sure about writing fantasy. Nor for teenagers anyway. She liked writing historical fiction, she liked character interaction, the what motivates people, the invention of characters and what makes them tick. She liked writing about rugged heroes that were the sort of men you wouldn't want to get into a drinking contest with, but who would, all the same, be there to fix the fuse... and know where the torch is!
A Holiday. Dorset. England. A wet, windy October afternoon. The rain had poured all morning, but by early afternoon a weak, apologetic sun was squinting from behind a barricade of grey cloud. The author decided to walk the dogs on the beach. She armed herself with weapons against the weather. A hat, a coat, wellies and her ipod.

All week she had been researching her latest interest; the truth behind pirates. Now the film she had seen (and the character she had fallen hook-line-and-sinker in love with) was all very well, but it was not historically accurate. Tortuga, for instance, was cleared of pirates in the 1600's, Port Royal was no longer a town, just a naval base. Pirates did not turn into skeletons. But they DID wear bright ribbons, wave cutlasses about, get drunk and have an awful lot of fun.

As she was walking down the steep cliff-path, minding the bunny burrows and reminding one of the dogs that it was not a good idea to get stuck down one again, as he had yesterday and the day before, she wondered, "What would happen if a charming rogue, such as Jack Sparrow, met up with a white witch? Not someone like Hermione in the Harry Potty books, someone more like Yoda in Star Wars – but prettier? A good witch, who had the Craft. She can't do magic, has no wand or spells, but she can summon a wind, or talk to her lover via telepathy - if he is not blocking her thoughts.

The author crossed the stream at the bottom of the cliff, that smelt suspiciously of things that were not fishy (or were fishy, in the dodgy sense of the word) and stepped onto the beach. Immediately she was almost knocked over by a blast from the wind and the dogs went haring off after those two seagulls that had been bugging them all week.

The tide was ebbing, the breakers all white-foam and rolling excitement. She walked along the wet sand, listening to the soundtrack of Pirates of the Caribbean, cursing because the earpiece kept falling out of her ear.

She had the beach to herself, even the seagulls had gone, although one of the dogs did find a dead crab.

Sitting on a rock she gazed out at the Spanish Main. Well, it was the English Channel really, but an author has a vivid imagination. It was not too difficult to picture the hot sun of the Caribbean, waving palm trees, the rich turquoise blue of the sea .... although it would have been easier if it had not rained again. Quickly, she switched to a different scene. The Florida reefs, 1715. Eleven Spanish galleons went down in a storm, laden with treasure.

What if... what if.... her mind was racing, her heart beginning to thud with excitement. What if there was a 12th ship that went down? A pirate ship? A ship that a young, handsome rogue had just commandeered? His first captaincy ... he survived the storm, would want to get another ship as soon as possible.... he had a brother, a half brother, who had bullied him as a child... a brother who had burnt his only possession, a boat called ...... called..... Acorn! Yes, boats were made from oak ... yes, Acorn! The Author was getting REALLY excited now! The boy - for he was only a boy then ... fled the Virginia tobacco plantation and became a pirate.

He had a few adventures, got rich on plunder, but was, underneath all the swagger and pretence, lonely. It was alright having whores crumpets and strumpets, but there was also the horror of the hangman's noose dangling over him. Then one day ... one day he meets a girl. He was in deep trouble, wounded and being chased by East India Company agents and this girl... no, not a girl ... the white witch ... rescues him. They fall in love, but he misses the sea. Because of ... er, because of (the author decided to think of a ‘because of’ later) because of dah di dah happening, there is a mix up. The pirate assumed the girl didn't love him any more. And the girl, who was really a white witch, thought the pirate didn't love HER anymore. So they were both very miserable for a few months. The pirate found solace in a rum bottle (as pirates do) and the girl gave in and married the rich creep who had been pestering her all this time.

Then the pirate's brother caught up with him (very annoyed because the pirate had stolen his ship - one that happened to be full of tobacco to be taken to England to be sold)

The author's backside was getting a bit numb, so she moved to a softer rock, but found that the cushioning sea weed was wet, so walked on up the beach instead.

The annoyed bully brother is in league with the creep who married the girl... Tiola! the author thought, her name is Tiola. Tiola what? The author kicked at a piece of drift wood, cursed in true pirate fashion. There was a rock behind the piece of wood that she hadn't seen. Tiola is a good witch, she is all that is good... a.l.l. t.h.a.t. i.s. g.o.o.d ... an anagram! An anagram of ... furious muttering .. an anagram of Tiola Oldstagh. Yes! Only it will be pronounced Tee-la not Te-OH-la.

The author walked on, she was nearing the far side of the bay now, and the tumble of rocks that were full of fossils and things. Or so the guide books said. She was blowed if she could find one.

The annoyed bully brother is in league with the creep who married the girl Tiola. The two men are plotting to capture the pirate and have him hanged - Captain Woodes Rogers, a real figure in history, has just become Governor of Nassau and is offering a pardon to all pirates. The two bad men arrange to meet at Nassau, guessing that the pirate will turn up, looking for amnesty. Which he does - but the bully brother nabs him & chains him up in the bilge of a ship & heads off back to Virginia where he has promised the other man that he will hang ... only the bully brother has no intention of hanging the pirate, he wants to have his fun first and punish the pirate for stealing his ship.
Tiola is a witch and she loves her pirate. She tells the baddie who is her (forced) husband to go jump in a lake and boarding the pirate's ship (which he has called Sea Witch) sets off in pursuit of her true love - having to conjure up a wind to do so .... meanwhile because the witch is a witch and because the ship is special, the girl and the ship sort of become one and .... and the author could see a small fantasy sub-plot coming here, something about Tethys, the goddess, the Spirit of the Sea who wanted the pirate for herself ....

The author was quite pleased, it seemed a good basic plot. Lots of character interaction, the chance to get to know these two young lovers, the boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy loses girl then finds her again plot, but if Shakespeare could use it over and over ... not that the author was anywhere as good as Shakespeare, but she had five other books published and loads of people seemed to enjoy her writing style and the way she brought life into her characters and made them real ... and her fans particularly said she was good at creating loveable rogues.

So all she needed was her pirate.
She couldn't use Jack Sparrow (as much as she would like to use him!) ... she had reached the rocks, turned around. The wide sweep of the beach was deserted. The rain had washed away everyone who normally came to the beach of an afternoon. She looked at the wet sand where the tide was scurrying in with lace-edged patterns of foam. Saw a man standing there, twenty or thirty yards away. He was tall, rugged. Had an untidy chaos of curled, dark hair, with a few blue ribbons fluttering in the wind tied into it. He wore knee high boots, a faded coat and a three cornered hat. He was looking out to sea but he turned, grinned at her, showing the flash of two gold teeth. With his left hand, he took off his hat and with his right, gave the author a small, acknowledging salute.

An earring dangled from one ear... an earring shaped like an acorn.
"Hello Jesamiah Acorne," said the author.
(and I swear that is all true!)

The Books

Sea Witch: Being the First Voyage of Capt. Jessemiah Aciorne (Sea Witch Chronicles #1) / Amazon UK

Pirate Code: Sea Witch Series (Sea Witch Chronicles) / Amazon UK

Bring It Close: Being the Third Voyage of Capt. Jessemiah Acorne and the Ship, Sea Witch / Amazon UK

More from Helen Hollick

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Stuff and Nonsense: Three Web Previews

Book Giveaway!


Brandy Purdy's The Boleyn Wife won't be released untilJanuary 2010, but you can get a free, autographed book right away by visiting That's All She Read by the end of this week.

Check out the look of my new web site!


To see it live, just go to Nan Hawthorne, Historical Novelist

Facebook Fan Pahe for An Involuntary King


Visit the fan page and check out the stellar names you will find in the members list!

While you are there, click on the link to see a short slideshow illustrating the progress of the War in Affynshire, now being chronicled at An Involuntary Kintg: The Stories.